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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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wonders why the trojan condom was named after something that broke through a wall & let thousands of unwanted ppl in?...terrible product naming
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11-03-2011 22:34 by
Eddy
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So I just bought a retired drug sniffing dog. I think it was a good investment cause he already found 3 bags of weed I misplaced!! Hell yea!!
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11-03-2011 22:30
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That extremely "WTF" moment when finally you found the right moment to broke up with your boyfriend and... He ask you to marry him...
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11-03-2011 21:38 by
A.S
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❒ Taken ❒ Single ✔ I'm in love with my computer. It's getting pretty serious
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11-03-2011 20:42 by
@OMFG_Rel8able
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There's a serial killer in the house! NORMAL PEOPLE: "Call the police, let's get out of here!" IN MOVIES: "Let's go find him!"
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11-03-2011 20:40 by
@OMFG_Rel8able
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Nothing says "I'm a fat b@stard" like wearing a T-shirt in a swimming pool.....
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11-03-2011 20:29 by
@OMFG_Rel8able
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My manners disappear the more I have to repeat something. "Can you pass me the pen? The pen, can you pass it? Hello? GIVE ME THE F**KING PEN!!!"
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11-03-2011 20:16 by
@OMFG_Rel8able
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Learn something new everyday. Today I learned that leaving the lights on in your car overnight is not good for morning starts.
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11-03-2011 18:39
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Im going to make a Photo Album of Then and Now photos of my high school class mates and tag everybody
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11-03-2011 18:23
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Pac-Man teaches us a valuable lesson Eat everything you can, and if anyone tries to stop you, eat them.
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11-03-2011 18:03 by
g0re
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It makes you worried for the future when you see all the insecure girls on Facebook posting their pictures as their statu$ and begging for likes.
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11-03-2011 17:57 by
g0re
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It's silly when people say that you shouldn't like them "because they might hurt you." Everyone is going to hurt you. Some people are just worth the risk.
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11-03-2011 17:54 by
g0re
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You might have moves like Jagger....Me, at my age, have moves like jello!!
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11-03-2011 17:49 by
Sando
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Hot cashier: "Would you like cash back?" Me: "Id rather have your phone number." Yep it worked.
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11-03-2011 17:43
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I keep seeing studies finding fecal matter on things. Anyone considered that perhaps it's the scientists that aren't washing their hands?
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11-03-2011 17:39 by
SEAN
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Bless me father for I have sinned, my last confession was over 3 years- oh damn the roof is caving in HELLLPPPPP!"
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11-03-2011 17:35 by
Omen
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For those of you who were wondering why I have a belly, well I'm not fat, I'm just Full with love =)
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11-03-2011 17:01 by
XXX
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Twinkle twinkle is stupid sh!t, so can you please stop posting it
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11-03-2011 16:23
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Work is givin' us a piss test to celebrate our new contract. I just put glitter in mine... good luck tryin' to figure that one out muthafuckas!
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11-03-2011 15:56 by
Marshall the Great
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Don't worry that you're 40.. you're just 1 in “cougar-years.”
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11-03-2011 15:49 by
Marshall the Great
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