Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon wonders why the trojan condom was named after something that broke through a wall & let thousands of unwanted ppl in?...terrible product naming
←Rate | 11-03-2011 22:34 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon So I just bought a retired drug sniffing dog. I think it was a good investment cause he already found 3 bags of weed I misplaced!! Hell yea!!
←Rate | 11-03-2011 22:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon That extremely "WTF" moment when finally you found the right moment to broke up with your boyfriend and... He ask you to marry him...
←Rate | 11-03-2011 21:38 by A.S Comments (0)  


   messageicon ❒ Taken ❒ Single ✔ I'm in love with my computer. It's getting pretty serious
←Rate | 11-03-2011 20:42 by @OMFG_Rel8able Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's a serial killer in the house! NORMAL PEOPLE: "Call the police, let's get out of here!" IN MOVIES: "Let's go find him!"
←Rate | 11-03-2011 20:40 by @OMFG_Rel8able Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing says "I'm a fat b@stard" like wearing a T-shirt in a swimming pool.....
←Rate | 11-03-2011 20:29 by @OMFG_Rel8able Comments (0)  


   messageicon My manners disappear the more I have to repeat something. "Can you pass me the pen? The pen, can you pass it? Hello? GIVE ME THE F**KING PEN!!!"
←Rate | 11-03-2011 20:16 by @OMFG_Rel8able Comments (0)  


   messageicon Learn something new everyday. Today I learned that leaving the lights on in your car overnight is not good for morning starts.
←Rate | 11-03-2011 18:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Im going to make a Photo Album of Then and Now photos of my high school class mates and tag everybody
←Rate | 11-03-2011 18:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pac-Man teaches us a valuable lesson Eat everything you can, and if anyone tries to stop you, eat them.
←Rate | 11-03-2011 18:03 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon It makes you worried for the future when you see all the insecure girls on Facebook posting their pictures as their statu$ and begging for likes.
←Rate | 11-03-2011 17:57 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's silly when people say that you shouldn't like them "because they might hurt you." Everyone is going to hurt you. Some people are just worth the risk.
←Rate | 11-03-2011 17:54 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon You might have moves like Jagger....Me, at my age, have moves like jello!!
←Rate | 11-03-2011 17:49 by Sando Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hot cashier: "Would you like cash back?" Me: "Id rather have your phone number." Yep it worked.
←Rate | 11-03-2011 17:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I keep seeing studies finding fecal matter on things. Anyone considered that perhaps it's the scientists that aren't washing their hands?
←Rate | 11-03-2011 17:39 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bless me father for I have sinned, my last confession was over 3 years- oh damn the roof is caving in HELLLPPPPP!"
←Rate | 11-03-2011 17:35 by Omen Comments (0)  


   messageicon For those of you who were wondering why I have a belly, well I'm not fat, I'm just Full with love =)
←Rate | 11-03-2011 17:01 by XXX Comments (0)  


   messageicon Twinkle twinkle is stupid sh!t, so can you please stop posting it
←Rate | 11-03-2011 16:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Work is givin' us a piss test to celebrate our new contract. I just put glitter in mine... good luck tryin' to figure that one out muthafuckas!
←Rate | 11-03-2011 15:56 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't worry that you're 40.. you're just 1 in “cougar-years.”
←Rate | 11-03-2011 15:49 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  



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