Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 4284 of 5593

   messageicon Cyclists want to be treated like motorists until there's a red light. then all of a sudden they are pedestrians..
←Rate | 11-04-2011 07:47 by @ericroflmao Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have found something that wakes me up faster than a hot cup of coffee...a COLD TOILET SEAT...
←Rate | 11-04-2011 07:30 by Smilingjackal | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear anchormen: We all have the Internet now. Why do you even exist still?
←Rate | 11-04-2011 07:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Always remember: Sometimes you can make people UNHAPPY with your HAPPINESS.
←Rate | 11-04-2011 07:01 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon Chasing the American Dream does not count as exercise.
←Rate | 11-04-2011 06:56 by Mc Nutsack Comments (0)  


   messageicon being rich doesn't equal happiness but i'd rather cry in a ferrari
←Rate | 11-04-2011 05:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I always hate it when the toilet lid is down in public places because you have to wonder, was it good manners or is there something nasty lurking in there.......
←Rate | 11-04-2011 05:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon How long until Justin Bieber releases a cover of Billie Jean? "♫ She's just a girl who says that I am the one... But the kid is not my son! ♫"
←Rate | 11-04-2011 04:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon NAMES: I bet you 10 times out of 10, guys with names like Ricky, Vinnie. Tony, Eddie will beat the sh*t out of guys with names like Kyle, Blaine, Brent, Cecil
←Rate | 11-04-2011 02:32 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why did the chicken cross the road? To show these fu**in pedestrians how its done!!
←Rate | 11-04-2011 02:16 by zubin Comments (0)  


   messageicon not interested in a girl? tell her you're going through a horrific vesectomy process & you're really concentrating on that right now.
←Rate | 11-04-2011 00:58 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I never considered myself to be a violent person, but every day I kill time.
←Rate | 11-04-2011 00:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon People only speak about your life because their own lives are nothing to speak of.
←Rate | 11-04-2011 00:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dont blame people for disappointing you..blame yourself for letting your guard down too fast and too soon.
←Rate | 11-03-2011 23:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm in the " I don't give a sh!t" process mode
←Rate | 11-03-2011 23:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I count breathing as exercise.
←Rate | 11-03-2011 23:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If Gillette made toilet paper, we'd be up to 4 or 5 plys by now.
←Rate | 11-03-2011 23:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon One spelling mistake can destroy your life, A Husband sent this to his wife:I'm having a wonderful time wish you were her
←Rate | 11-03-2011 23:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I copied my Match@com bio from a used car website. - White. - Good condition. - Reliable. - Cheap. - Some evidence of rear end damage.
←Rate | 11-03-2011 23:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon why am I the only one on chat and everybody posting ever 2 minutes??
←Rate | 11-03-2011 23:25 by L Comments (0)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left