Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon ....... In suppoert of the Ocupy Wall Street movement ... I withdrew 20 bucks from my bank and bought a burger, fries, and went to a movie!! .. Take that you evil corporations!!
←Rate | 11-05-2011 20:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Male bats have the highest rate of homosexuality......which would explain Edward.....
←Rate | 11-05-2011 18:22 by Brian_Allen Comments (0)  


   messageicon Statistics show that 1 in 20 of us live next door to a convicted pedophile. Not me though, I live next to two stunning 12 year olds.
←Rate | 11-05-2011 17:53 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes you just wanna get hit by a car and sometimes you just want to be the one driving and hit someone else.
←Rate | 11-05-2011 17:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Two men walk into a bar. The first says, "I'll have some H2O." The second one says, "I'll have some H2O too." Then he dies
←Rate | 11-05-2011 17:48 by g0re Comments (2)  


   messageicon It would be funny to make your facebook status "OMG IT ACTUALLY WORKS" and then 5 minutes later make another facebook status that says "Well, I'm gonna test out this time machine",
←Rate | 11-05-2011 17:46 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Two men walk into a bar. The first says, "I'll have some H2O." The second one says, "I'll have some H2O too." Then he dies..
←Rate | 11-05-2011 17:43 by g0r. Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only correct answer to "Are you ticklish?" is "I have explosive diarrhea right now,"
←Rate | 11-05-2011 17:41 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon If there was ever a Titanic themed party and you couldn't figure out what to go as, you could always go as an iceberg and crash the party.
←Rate | 11-05-2011 17:30 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon tonight we get to time travel & wont even need a delorean
←Rate | 11-05-2011 17:16 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best part about the daylight savings tonight is that I get to hear last call called twice.
←Rate | 11-05-2011 17:10 by @cdowney84 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate daylight savings. Twice a year I have to set my alarm and get up at two in the morning to set my clock.....Damn.
←Rate | 11-05-2011 17:05 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon The economy is so bad, the only thing that get's paid back nowadays is the hour that Daylight Savings Time borrows from Standard Time.
←Rate | 11-05-2011 16:59 by Ming Vas Comments (0)  


   messageicon My favorite form of lying to myself is choosing a deodorant scent that contains the words 'active' or 'sport' in it's name
←Rate | 11-05-2011 16:50 by Daheavy1 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If there was a hero that saved people from awkward conversations, he'd be more popular than Superman
←Rate | 11-05-2011 16:49 by Daheavy1 Comments (0)  


   messageicon 'People were meant to be loved & things were meant to be used. The confusion in this world is that people are used and things are loved!'
←Rate | 11-05-2011 16:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am tired of living in a world with adults that still believe in imaginary beings, I am even more tired of living by the decisions adults make based on their beliefs in imaginary beings.
←Rate | 11-05-2011 15:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Andy Rooney vapor locked today at age 92. I don't want to say he was old, but I heard his Social Security number was "1".....RIP you miserable old fart!
←Rate | 11-05-2011 15:27 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon There is always that one person whose friend request you regret ever accepting.
←Rate | 11-05-2011 15:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Usually I am a loving person, but there are two things in this world I have failed to love, JUSTIN BIEBER AND TWILIGHT MOVIES.
←Rate | 11-05-2011 15:00 Comments (0)  



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