Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon We all suffer from a stroke at some point in our lives. Whether it be a stroke of bad luck, a blood clot, or a dry handjob.
←Rate | 11-07-2011 13:58 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some moments you remember all your life. Reading this, unfortunately, is not one of those moments.
←Rate | 11-07-2011 13:56 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tell me and I'll forget; show me and I may remember; involve me and I'll understand. Sex is best learned by doing.
←Rate | 11-07-2011 13:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon With only one plug in this hospital room it's not looking good for Nana's respirator if my phone battery dies and I have another AWESOME face book status update .
←Rate | 11-07-2011 13:55 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon The less power a man has, the more he likes to use it. That's why bouncers are d!cks.
←Rate | 11-07-2011 13:52 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon In life everything has a Yin & a Yang. Without demoralizing Monday mornings, there would be no debaucherous Friday nights.
←Rate | 11-07-2011 13:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't feel bad Westerners, somewhere there is a Chinese kid in an American restaurant struggling with a knife & fork.
←Rate | 11-07-2011 13:47 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can learn a lot about a woman from the top dresser drawer beside her bed....
←Rate | 11-07-2011 12:43 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today is the tomorrow we worried about yesterday. ( MONDAY )
←Rate | 11-07-2011 12:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon No one is lazier than the people who name convenience stores.
←Rate | 11-07-2011 12:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm in shape: Unfortunately it's the wrong one.
←Rate | 11-07-2011 11:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like my beaver how I like my chicken...free range.
←Rate | 11-07-2011 10:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you can text with both hands at the same time, you are Ambi-Textual.
←Rate | 11-07-2011 09:52 by sean Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you listen to the new Coldplay album on very good speakers you can actually hear the band growing ovaries.
←Rate | 11-07-2011 09:51 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm about to get in the middle of some girl-on-girl action with Aunt Jemima and Mrs. Butterworth.
←Rate | 11-07-2011 09:22 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon HEADLINE: Justin Bieber wins big, trashes rumours at EMAs. You go girrrrrrrrrrrrrl....
←Rate | 11-07-2011 09:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon you know its time to get a girlfriend when you start looking for socks behind the dryer..
←Rate | 11-07-2011 08:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't tease fat girls, elephants never forget...
←Rate | 11-07-2011 08:00 by Lu Comments (0)  


   messageicon We're probably accidentally giving ghosts handjobs all the time
←Rate | 11-07-2011 07:54 by Lu Comments (0)  


   messageicon So many women.... So little time to disappoint them all...
←Rate | 11-07-2011 07:51 by Lu Comments (0)  



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