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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Wondering if your adopted because your the only sexy one in the family.
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10-25-2011 02:07 by
@OMFG_Rel8able
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If I am ever in the middle of a shooting, I will just lay on the floor and act like someone already killed me.
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10-25-2011 02:05 by
@OMFG_Rel8able
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"Hey, what's up?" "Gas prices." "You know what I mean, like.. What's crackin'?" "Nutshells." "Really? Fine. What's poppin'?" "Corn."
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10-25-2011 02:05 by
@OMFG_Rel8able
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I dont have a problem with guys wearing white pointed shoes, just as long as they don't curl up, dude be looking like sum extra on the set of Aladdin.
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10-25-2011 01:16
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Redneck Magician , couldn't pull a rabbit out of his hat so he pulled a hare out of his bag
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10-25-2011 00:41
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ittle known fact: The toothbrush originated in Alabama. Everywhere else it was called a teethbrush.
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10-24-2011 23:42
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Facebook is really just a museum of all my failed relationships.
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10-24-2011 23:27
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Bin Laden, Gadaffi, Saddam, and Maliki are part of the occupy Hell movement.
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10-24-2011 23:27
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I have given up on browsing online dating websites and have moved on to the SPCA Cat Adoptions page instead.
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10-24-2011 23:24
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Hey girl, did it hurt when you fell from heaven after Lucifer's rebellion?
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10-24-2011 23:08 by
Doc Noland
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My neighbors parked to close to my car again. And hey look at that, Somebody keyed their car again.
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10-24-2011 23:01
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Girls on Facebook: "Getting Starbucks with Jenny!" 2 minutes later: 141 pictures and 6 videos uploaded.
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10-24-2011 22:51 by
Marshall the Great
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What the USA Government needs is a Department of Common Sense.
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10-24-2011 22:49 by
Marshall the Great
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UGGS: The onomatopoeia of footwear.
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10-24-2011 22:43
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The word "Scone" perfectly describes what it is.
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10-24-2011 22:35
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Mr Patel kicked me out of Dunkin donuts for telling customers the healthiest part of a donut was the hole.
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10-24-2011 22:31
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Giraffes are kinda like periscopes for themselves.
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10-24-2011 22:25
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Every time I see Nancy Grace on TV I imagine that somewhere there is a real journalist locked in a broom closet weeping.
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10-24-2011 22:24
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I really don't mind getting up and going to work every day. It's the part about staying there for 8 hours that I have a problem with.
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10-24-2011 22:20 by
BEGO
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Just picked up a Rubiks cube, see ya in a couple years
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10-24-2011 22:15
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