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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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not addicted to cocaine, he just likes the way it smells.
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11-10-2011 06:41
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Ladies: Don't ever cry when it's over, be grateful that you dodged that bullet and laugh at what the next b!tch has to put up with.
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11-10-2011 03:24
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Shoot for the moon.Even if you miss,you'll land among the stars...Or you will be sucked into a black-hole and never heard from again.
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11-10-2011 03:22
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Dear idiot: If I give you a nice big straw, will you leave me alone and go suck the fun out of someone else's day? Sincerely, Annoyed.
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11-10-2011 03:04
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You know the NCAA won't punish the Penn St. football program unless Sandusky gave his victim's dad a free car.
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11-10-2011 01:46 by
Doc Noland
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I recently took up meditation. It beats sitting around doing nothing.
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11-10-2011 01:15 by
shuttdogg
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Ladies: Trust me, nice guys are all around you, it's just that the a$$holes are blockin your view.
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11-10-2011 00:43 by
Czovczov
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''You ask!'' ''No, you ask!'' ''Pls just ask?'' ''why cant you do it?'' ''Fine.. excuse me, can we have some ketchup?''
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11-09-2011 23:56 by
@OMFG_Rel8able
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It's so hot here, gangsters are doing drive bys with squirt guns.
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11-09-2011 23:51 by
Goodeolboy
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That Moment of Fame when your name is in a math problem.
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11-09-2011 23:50 by
@OMFG_Rel8able
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Admit it, Once in your life, you've tried to guess someone's password but failed
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11-09-2011 23:49 by
@OMFG_Rel8able
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As an ex-construction worker, when I see a "lost" cone on the roadway a little piece of me dies inside.
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11-09-2011 23:49 by
Goodeolboy
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It's so cold out that I saw two gangsters with their pants UP
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11-09-2011 23:49 by
@OMFG_Rel8able
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TICKLING; Is like being raped but you're forced to laugh... And I totally hate it - _ -
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11-09-2011 23:47 by
@OMFG_Rel8able
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When I bite into a Peppermint Patty..I get the sensation in my nipples and they point due south
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11-09-2011 22:37 by
mlg
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This is one of those times FB needs to tag my location as "in the middle of nowhere".
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11-09-2011 22:24 by
Goodeolboy
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I'm not sure what in the hell MW3 stands for but unless it's Margarita Wednesdays for $3 I'm not interested
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11-09-2011 21:14
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I wish I could type my mood into my iPod and it would make a playlist for me.
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11-09-2011 21:01 by
g0re
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I sent a Facebook friend request to the girl who had the party I was at last night. I immediately realized, however, that my new profile picture is of me, smiling and holding the trophy I stole from her house.
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11-09-2011 21:00 by
BEGO
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Sometimes you can't tell if you're just in a bad mood or everyone around you is being annoying.
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11-09-2011 20:57 by
g0re
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