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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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I don't like the way this guy in the mirror is looking at me.
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10-31-2011 22:13
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My check engine light has been on since I was born.
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10-31-2011 22:10
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if family visits tonight dressed as zombies, I just might start palying "resident evil...the wii version"
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10-31-2011 22:03 by
Eddy
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watched a bunny hop past me and into bushes and thought "What if I'm supposed to follow it?"
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10-31-2011 22:00
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Just shot three vampires and a zombie. You're welcome.
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10-31-2011 21:44
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Go ahead, call the cops, lady. I got ten witnesses that'll say your baby kicked me first.
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10-31-2011 21:33
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Nipples: Nature's thermometer.
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10-31-2011 21:29
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90 percent of the pumpkins in America end up as Jack-o-Lantern's.
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10-31-2011 20:54
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If couples who are in love are called "love birds", then couples who always argue should be called "angry birds"
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10-31-2011 20:53
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Melissa Etheridge is single, with four kids by two different chicks. Sounds like someone is ready for the NBA.
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10-31-2011 20:43 by
Doc Noland
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Here lies Eddie Drake, he stepped on the gas instead of the brake.
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10-31-2011 20:42 by
BEGO
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I dressed up as MySpace for Halloween. Hey why is everyone ignoring me?
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10-31-2011 20:40 by
BEGO
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so far I've handed out 23 caramel covered onions on a stick to trick or treaters... life is fun
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10-31-2011 20:40
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Best part of Halloween is the day after…clearance candy in the stores and drunken slutty pictures on Facebook.
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10-31-2011 20:39 by
BEGO
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Happy Halloween. You don't need a costume, your face is scary enough as is.
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10-31-2011 20:39 by
BEGO
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If you want to visit a real graveyard this Halloween just log back onto MYSPACE.
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10-31-2011 20:12
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I don't know understand what the big deal is about those Halloween movies. A plot that centers around the actor that played Austin Powers , Shrek and Wayne Cambpell going around killing people doesn't sound scary to me.
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10-31-2011 20:09
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Kim Kardashian requests her privacy during this time. Just her, an E! camera crew & 30 black dudes dragging their sacks across her face.
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10-31-2011 19:59 by
Doc Noland
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I feel like I should apologize to my shower drain.
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10-31-2011 19:53 by
Doc Noland
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ok but i'm out of cialis so you have to wear the boba fett mask
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10-31-2011 19:50 by
Doc Noland
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