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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Never make the same mistake twice, There are so many new ones, Try a different one each day
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11-19-2011 00:35
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Ladies, enough with the mind games. If you like a boy, grab his hand and shove it down your pants!
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11-19-2011 00:24
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Found a roll of "choking hazard" stickers, so far I've plastered my pants with them.
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11-19-2011 00:17 by
Aaron
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Man Rule #4: Never let your Wife be the last one on your street to bring the trash bins in.
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11-19-2011 00:15
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Hey abusive men, It's a relationship. Not the UFC.
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11-19-2011 00:13
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Cosmopolitan ..is a sex manual for women..
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11-18-2011 23:58
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Sometimes you just have to take a breath ..... ;)
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11-18-2011 23:20
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the early bird gets the worm...but the 2nd mouse gets the cheese
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11-18-2011 23:15 by
Eddy
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This years NBA season so far has been the best one I can ever remember
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11-18-2011 22:05 by
greg2missy
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I wonder if the person who invented trail mix actually discovered it when they were cleaning out their car and moved their kids' car seats.
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11-18-2011 22:04 by
greg2missy
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The self-checkout line was a miracle for the condom industry.
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11-18-2011 21:32 by
BEGO
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I'm not addicted to Facebook. I only time I update my status is when I have time: lunch time, break time, off time, this time, that time, any time, all the time
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11-18-2011 21:31 by
BEGO
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There are people who are only alive thanks to the fact that killing is illegal
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11-18-2011 21:27 by
BEGO
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It really sucks when everyone likes your status except the one person you wish who liked it
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11-18-2011 21:20
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How did Nancy Grace get on TV? She reminds me of someone who qualified to be an office manager of a mobile home park
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11-18-2011 20:44
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Back in my day Werewolves didn't fall in love with babies...THEY ATE THEM!!
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11-18-2011 20:42 by
bryan j brown
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Galatians 1:19 But I saw none of the other apostles except James the Lord's brother.... Go to church fool
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11-18-2011 20:42
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Man Rule #4: Never be the last one on your street to bring the trash bins in.
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11-18-2011 20:29 by
Goodeolboy
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If weed was legalized the number of annoying stoners would mutiply faster than a asian kid at a math contest.
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11-18-2011 19:47 by
Mc Nutsack
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Women hate being treated different than men, until there's a hostage situation and woman and children are let go first.
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11-18-2011 19:35 by
g0re
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