Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Obama supporters are in SUCH denial about EVERYTHING! We're on to you..accept it.
←Rate | 11-04-2011 19:32 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey thanks for the event invitation. I live in Florida, but I'll leave for Utah immediately 'cause God knows I wouldn't wanna miss your sh**ty band's gig at Paul's Bowling Alley.
←Rate | 11-04-2011 19:25 by Ming Vas Comments (0)  


   messageicon Missed the gym yesterday.... That makes 11 years in a row.
←Rate | 11-04-2011 18:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hah! Got my inflatable Santa Jesus up before you this year, Henderson. SUCK IT, CHRISTMAS LOSER!!!
←Rate | 11-04-2011 18:43 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Coffee is a gateway drug. You end up stirring liquid with increasingly larger sticks until eventually you're paddling a kayak.
←Rate | 11-04-2011 18:42 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon and why, when I answered the phone, it was a guy on the other line??
←Rate | 11-04-2011 18:42 by BRian Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't forget to set your clocks back to a time when you believed dreams came true!
←Rate | 11-04-2011 18:42 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why, when my dad left his phone in the car his phone rang and the ringtone was "Love in this club" by Usher???
←Rate | 11-04-2011 18:41 by BRian Comments (0)  


   messageicon There really should be a Web site that explains how to properly tie an ascot on a cat.
←Rate | 11-04-2011 18:41 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Are you thinking what I'm thinking that I think that you're thinking I'm thinking because if you think that I think what I think I'm thinking then we've got a problem?
←Rate | 11-04-2011 18:40 by Iloveher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Oh it's on like a pops rocks blow job!!
←Rate | 11-04-2011 18:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pro-tip: Turn your dishwasher into a snowplow this christmas by giving her a shovel.
←Rate | 11-04-2011 18:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon NASA has received funding to develop a tractor beam. Step 1: Buy new pants for nerds who just wet themselves.
←Rate | 11-04-2011 18:25 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life is just a long, sick game of "Would you rather."
←Rate | 11-04-2011 17:54 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's kind of disappointing when you're reading someone's bio on any site and are somewhat interested, but then you reach the end and it says you don't like me, then PISS OFF!!!" Well, that was rude
←Rate | 11-04-2011 17:40 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sluts are like Gary; they only like you for the cookie in your pants.
←Rate | 11-04-2011 17:17 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon tired from going clubbing last night......those baby seals are faster than I thought
←Rate | 11-04-2011 17:16 by Link Comments (0)  


   messageicon Once you hate someone, everything they do is offensive. "Look at this b!tch, eating those crackers like she owns the place!"
←Rate | 11-04-2011 17:12 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon oh no! Just got an Android phone..And I dont know how to copy an paste! All my friends must think I'm dead!
←Rate | 11-04-2011 16:59 by Seanathon Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't exactly hate you, but if you were on fire and I had water, i'd drink it.
←Rate | 11-04-2011 16:49 Comments (0)  



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