Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon I can move things with my mind. Like, my arms.
←Rate | 11-19-2011 16:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My favorite salad is a bunch of different kinds of Doritos mixed together
←Rate | 11-19-2011 16:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon This stupid farmers market doesn't have any locally grown pizza.
←Rate | 11-19-2011 16:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When a woman says she'll be ready in 5 minutes, I know I have just enough time to fly to space & finish building my Death Star before we go.
←Rate | 11-19-2011 16:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon “What doesn't kill you makes you smaller.” ~Mario
←Rate | 11-19-2011 16:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Silence is golden. If you do not agree with something that I post on my page, I would advise you to keep your opinion to yourself than try and confront me on my own turf otherwise I will embarrass you.
←Rate | 11-19-2011 13:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon They say " you can attract more bees with honey, rather than vinegar." Why the crap do I want more bees around me?
←Rate | 11-19-2011 13:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Someone could get rich opening a business that untangles Christmas lights. Grrr....
←Rate | 11-19-2011 13:14 by Dave Comments (0)  


   messageicon when its someones birthday on fb you go to their page and copy n paste a happy birthday.
←Rate | 11-19-2011 13:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Steel toe boots: Check! Flack jacket: Check! Metal baton: Check! Helmet with face shield: Check! OK....I think I am ready to go to the grocery store now and shop for the Thanksgiving meal. :)
←Rate | 11-19-2011 12:01 by jacksje4 Comments (0)  


   messageicon never on schedule because I don't live my life by the times others sets.
←Rate | 11-19-2011 11:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Who needs dance lessons when you've got alcohol?!
←Rate | 11-19-2011 11:20 by @cdowney84 Comments (0)  


   messageicon New gay sitcom: "Leave it, it's beaver."
←Rate | 11-19-2011 11:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon How do Mexicans take a family portrait?They all jam into the front seat and run a red light.
←Rate | 11-19-2011 11:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just noticed that giving the Kirby vacuum salesman a pot brownie made the price of the unit much more negotiable! ツ
←Rate | 11-19-2011 10:04 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon Two seagulls are flying over The Kentucky Derby. The first one says, "I'm gonna put everything I've got on Number Seven."
←Rate | 11-19-2011 10:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon How fat was she?She needed a hairdresser for each armpit.
←Rate | 11-19-2011 09:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Here's two short jokes and one long joke...joke, joke, jjoooookkkeeee.
←Rate | 11-19-2011 09:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's the difference between an epileptic oyster shucker and a hooker with diarrhea?An epileptic oyster shucker shucks between fits
←Rate | 11-19-2011 09:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Looking to prank someone? Put Bieber tickets on really cheap & post their phone number.
←Rate | 11-19-2011 09:43 by flinnie Comments (0)  



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