Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Why do the media cover “Dancing with the Stars” like it's news?.... I think they do it for the same people that can not manage to operate a self check out isle! Which, I'm afraid is like 80% if he US population! God Help Us!!!!
←Rate | 11-22-2011 17:02 by Lonagan Comments (0)  


   messageicon Stupid vending machine took my money because the bag of chips didn't drop! I starting pounding the glass as hard as I could then I looked up and saw a surveillance camera and walked away slowly out the break room.... >_<
←Rate | 11-22-2011 16:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon No one likes laying in the wet spot but everyone loves making one.
←Rate | 11-22-2011 16:19 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon at Walmart buying pajama jeans for Thanksgiving dinner.
←Rate | 11-22-2011 15:51 by Goodeolboy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Time for the shake weight exercise, minus the shake weight.
←Rate | 11-22-2011 15:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon i'm feeling a little off today , wanna turn me on?
←Rate | 11-22-2011 15:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon No, my status is not about you. I have other important things in my life.
←Rate | 11-22-2011 14:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon REMEMBER:If you burn down your house on Thanksgiving....the Turkey wins
←Rate | 11-22-2011 14:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think I've got mood poisoning. It must be something I hate.
←Rate | 11-22-2011 14:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Always dress like you're going to see your worst enemy.
←Rate | 11-22-2011 14:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I want to sleep but my mind keeps talking to itself.
←Rate | 11-22-2011 14:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You sir are so fluent in bullsh!t.
←Rate | 11-22-2011 14:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER - I was shopping for condoms and she asked if I knew how to use them.
←Rate | 11-22-2011 14:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life would be more bearable if our problems only lasted as long as Kim Kardashian's marriage.
←Rate | 11-22-2011 14:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Shut up unless you want your next period to come out through your nose.
←Rate | 11-22-2011 14:36 by BAD GUY Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think I may be getting too old for a holiday metro vest and skinny jeans....Which most likely explains the weird looks I was getting when I split my pants while shopping at Hot Topic!
←Rate | 11-22-2011 14:27 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life is like toilet paper, you're either on a roll or you're taking sh!t from some @sshole!
←Rate | 11-22-2011 14:19 by Petrus Comments (0)  


   messageicon Funny how things change with time, I used to hate spankings.. ;)
←Rate | 11-22-2011 14:16 by @RonnieChapman Comments (0)  


   messageicon There are some words you can't just take back, no matter how sorry you say you are.
←Rate | 11-22-2011 13:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon i'd like to see things your way but i'm not sure I can stick my head that far up my ass
←Rate | 11-22-2011 13:40 by ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Comments (0)  



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