Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 4209 of 5593

   messageicon It's a good thing it's not really like the bees, otherwise men would die shortly after sticking it in.
←Rate | 11-23-2011 01:15 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon good girls may go to heaven but bad girls take you there
←Rate | 11-23-2011 00:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love to use the holidays as an excuse to gift, re-gift and de-gift meaningless merchandise.....I wonder if that would qualify me as an "Indian Gifter"? ツ
←Rate | 11-23-2011 00:04 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you ran as much as your mouth did, you'd be in great shape...
←Rate | 11-22-2011 23:13 by s3cr3tag3nt Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hamburger Helper only works when the hamburger is ready to accept that it needs help.
←Rate | 11-22-2011 22:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Man are like BLUETOOTH, he is connected to you when you are nearby, but searches for other devices when you are away. And women are like WI-FI, she sees all available devices but connects to the strongest one.
←Rate | 11-22-2011 21:54 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon I remmeber last year at christmas my ex girlfriend was so pissed that I gave her mother a mustache trimmer.
←Rate | 11-22-2011 21:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Vegetarians, you're not doing us any favors, all your doing is eating our food supply. Sincerely, Starving Animals.
←Rate | 11-22-2011 20:40 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook needs a “remove from existence” button. That way I don't have to see their posts on mutual friends' walls, and I can just forget that they even exist
←Rate | 11-22-2011 20:39 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder if people, who actually think they can danceq.. Have ever watched themselves dance in front of the mirror naked... I bet their minds would change in a heartbeat!
←Rate | 11-22-2011 20:39 by Seanathon Comments (0)  


   messageicon LIKE if you reply ”LMFAO” ”ROFL” “LOL” and you're clearly just sitting there emotionless as a robot.
←Rate | 11-22-2011 20:38 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook needs these 3 buttons: “Dislike”, “Who cares”, “Are you an idiot?”
←Rate | 11-22-2011 20:38 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Naughty phrases you can only say on Thanksgiving: Just wait your turn youll get some! You still have a little bit on your chin! Its cool whip time! Its a little dry do you still want to eat it? If I undo my pants I'll burst.
←Rate | 11-22-2011 20:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nobody in Yemen likes the Flintstones. Which is funny, because people of Abu Dhabi do.
←Rate | 11-22-2011 20:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon This girl came up to me today and said she recognized me from the Vegetarian Club. I was a bit confused, seeing how I'd never met herbivore.
←Rate | 11-22-2011 20:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I had a CrystalBall... I'd be very careful every time I sat down.
←Rate | 11-22-2011 20:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever I'm leaving the schools bathroom and I see the cleaning lady waiting,we exchange the knowing look that I just crapped in her office
←Rate | 11-22-2011 20:03 by @ericroflmao Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm a leader, not a follower.. Unless it's a dark place, then screw it, you're going first!
←Rate | 11-22-2011 20:02 by @ericroflmao Comments (0)  


   messageicon My girlfriend wants something for Christmas that goes 0-200 in 3 seconds...So I think I will get her a scale.
←Rate | 11-22-2011 19:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Chocolate helps everything..exept obesity..
←Rate | 11-22-2011 19:39 Comments (0)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left