Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Here is a quick math lesson for NBA players...50% of $1 billion is a lot more than 52% of nothing!
←Rate | 11-08-2011 19:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon customers get on my nerves, if you gotta wait on a line wait !...."open up another register" If you at a red light you don't tell the police to open up another red light do you? wait you turn!
←Rate | 11-08-2011 19:27 by L Comments (0)  


   messageicon Well, obviously we have a Santa in the North Pole. He's climbin' down yo chimney, droppin' yo' presents off Bringin' cheer so ya'll need to hang the stockings, deck the halls, and leave some cookies cuz he's visiting errrybody out there.
←Rate | 11-08-2011 19:18 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon A Priest a Rabbi and a Penn State Football Coach walk into a bar....
←Rate | 11-08-2011 19:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If women that like younger men are cougars are older men that llike young men Nittany Lions?
←Rate | 11-08-2011 18:22 by hawkeinmd Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's amazing the things you'll do while procrastinating; it's almost anti- procrastination. It's like "Well, I just re-read all 7 Harry Potter books learned fluent German and mastered the ability of knife throwing... But I still didn't start that essay"
←Rate | 11-08-2011 18:07 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon 2012 doesn't mean the end of the world. It just means its time to buy a new Mayan calendar...that's how a f*cking calendar works. It ends.
←Rate | 11-08-2011 18:06 by NJS Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ghetto people are always naming their kids after things they can't afford... Mercedes, Diamond, Pearl, Car Insurance.
←Rate | 11-08-2011 18:05 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon I had my family tree done… turns out I'm a quarter gay on my father's side.
←Rate | 11-08-2011 17:52 by NJS Comments (0)  


   messageicon well atleast LA knows how to convict GUILTY people . . . maybe FL could learn a few pointers??? . . .
←Rate | 11-08-2011 16:45 by greekgodess84 Comments (0)  


   messageicon That terrifying moment; when you rub your eyes for too long and you go blind for like 10 seconds.
←Rate | 11-08-2011 16:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only reason why your girlfriend likes your d!ck, it because her momma told her to enjoy the little things in life
←Rate | 11-08-2011 15:41 by Mc Nutsack Comments (0)  


   messageicon I had a falling out with a co-worker when he found out I slept with his sister. We're cool now. He is even teaching me Spanish. Now I can order steak(Soy un idiota que tiene sexo con las vacas). Thanks Javier!!
←Rate | 11-08-2011 15:20 by Goodeolboy Comments (0)  


   messageicon so there I was, stuck behind a bus at a red light. A group of kid turned around and stuck their tongues out at me. So I flipped them off, I'm not goin out like no b*tch!!
←Rate | 11-08-2011 15:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm sick of people knocking on my door looking for donations. Just had a woman from the sperm bank. Boy, did I give her a mouthful...
←Rate | 11-08-2011 15:09 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't hang onto what you can live with; grab a hold of what you can't live without!!!
←Rate | 11-08-2011 15:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Men are like a fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.
←Rate | 11-08-2011 15:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You want confessions? Lock a person in a room with a laptop, a facebook account & a bottle of booze ...
←Rate | 11-08-2011 14:59 by Mel Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever someone asks, "you look familiar, where do I know you from?" I like to respond with, "Well do you watch porn...?"
←Rate | 11-08-2011 14:58 by Mel Comments (0)  


   messageicon it me or does Herman Cain's latest accuser, Sharon Bialek, look like Stifler's mom?
←Rate | 11-08-2011 13:36 Comments (0)  



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