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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Just so we're on the same page, I'm on 137.
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11-10-2011 12:42
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Seeking other people's approval is disapproving yourself.
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11-10-2011 12:41 by
Czovczov
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Some cool ways to trick a woman into bed include "being kind," "making her feel special" & "showing her respect." They love that shi#t
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11-10-2011 12:40
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Dear keyboard, They may touch you, but they can't take their eyes off of me. Sincerely, monitor.
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11-10-2011 12:36
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Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn't do well in a hot car trunk all day.
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11-10-2011 12:35
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Lazy rule: Can't reach it. Don't need it.
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11-10-2011 12:29 by
Czovczov
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I know I am good,but I can be better!
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11-10-2011 12:26
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All these women dancing around with swiffers and vacuum cleaners ..having a blast ..sorry ladies no more crying about how hard you worked at cleaning the house.....I DONT BY IT...!!!!
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11-10-2011 12:21
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I'm going to open a store next to forever 21 and call it finally 22.
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11-10-2011 11:16 by
@OMFG_Rel8able
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"Dont worry the spider is smaller than you" Yeah? "So is a grenade!"
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11-10-2011 11:08 by
@OMFG_Rel8able
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"Aaaaaachhooo!" "Bless you.." "Aaacchhoooooo!" "Bless you!" "Aaaccchhoooooo!" "Dude what the hell?! youre jus pushing it now!"
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11-10-2011 11:07 by
@OMFG_Rel8able
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"False information" spelled backwards is "False information"
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11-10-2011 11:00 by
@OMFG_Rel8able
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Girl: Hey what's up? Boy: if I tell you would you sit on it?
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11-10-2011 10:57 by
@OMFG_Rel8able
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When I'm walking in the dark I widen my eyes as if making them bigger will make me see better.
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11-10-2011 10:56 by
Doc Noland
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Got insomnia? May I suggest watching the CMA's.
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11-10-2011 10:23 by
Rick h.
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Penguins don't give a flying phuck!
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11-10-2011 10:21
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You need to borrow what? Some money? Nah, you broke people need to borrow a job.
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11-10-2011 10:12
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if you type "no comment" in the comment bar that is in fact a comment.
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11-10-2011 10:06
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Andy Rooney's college roommate/lifelong friend drops dead at the late legend's memorial service. BUT HE DID WIN THE BET!
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11-10-2011 09:58 by
SuthernFukr
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"Will you just be doing simple abductions? Do you need soundproofing? Shackle package?" - van salesman
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11-10-2011 09:57 by
SuthernFukr
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