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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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my thong is trying to get to 5th base
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11-26-2011 14:23 by
flipphonescott
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Making girls who "aren't like that," like that. All Day, Every day.
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11-26-2011 14:20 by
@RonnieChapman
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My eBay purchasing history can confirm that I'm an alcoholic.
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11-26-2011 14:06
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thinks that without Analytical Geometry, life is pointless.
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11-26-2011 13:29 by
markf
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'Tis the season to trick myself into thinking going this long without getting laid was actually my New Year's resolution...still single
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11-26-2011 13:28 by
Doc Noland
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Don't judge me unless you can show me your acceptance letter to heaven.
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11-26-2011 13:24 by
Czovczov
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Don't call people "Ugly" because its offensive. Call them facially challenged, it makes you sound smart
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11-26-2011 13:21
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Happy Bella - •_• Sad Bella - •_• Excited Bella - •_• Angry Bella - •_• Shocked Bella - •_• Confused Bella - •_• - Twilight
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11-26-2011 13:13
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Dear KFC, Why are all the people in your commercials thin? Sincerely, highly suspect.
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11-26-2011 13:12
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If you want her to treat you nice, first you have to treat her right.
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11-26-2011 13:09
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Twilight did to vampires what Brokeback Mountain did to cowboys.
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11-26-2011 13:00 by
Czovczov
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I am thankful for Facebook for it has made my life as a stalker a whole lot easier. Gone are the days of standing in the dark, in the rain behind some bushes and providing free meal for mosquitoes no to mention restrain orders.
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11-26-2011 12:55
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What do you get if you cross the Queen and Prince Phillip?
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11-26-2011 11:44
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Looks like we'll get another year of Lebron James choking.
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11-26-2011 10:47
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I hate it when the people who owe me money post about how much they bought on Black Friday
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11-26-2011 10:39
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If you guys were at a bar right now I'd burst through the door & say "Drinks are on me!" Then I'd go to the bathroom & climb out the window.
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11-26-2011 10:28 by
Aaron
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Now that Black Friday is over, wonder if Mexican Saturday means things are free??
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11-26-2011 09:05 by
urboyblue
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When my life flashes before my eyes, I hope it's not the special extended edition with all the deleted scenes I've blocked from my memory.
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11-26-2011 09:02 by
SuthernFukr
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Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
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11-26-2011 08:34
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So lets be clear ...we have the McRib, Kim Kardashian is single and the NBA is back? Black Guys are winning.........
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11-26-2011 07:30 by
sully
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