Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon my thong is trying to get to 5th base
←Rate | 11-26-2011 14:23 by flipphonescott Comments (0)  


   messageicon Making girls who "aren't like that," like that. All Day, Every day.
←Rate | 11-26-2011 14:20 by @RonnieChapman Comments (0)  


   messageicon My eBay purchasing history can confirm that I'm an alcoholic.
←Rate | 11-26-2011 14:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks that without Analytical Geometry, life is pointless.
←Rate | 11-26-2011 13:29 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon 'Tis the season to trick myself into thinking going this long without getting laid was actually my New Year's resolution...still single
←Rate | 11-26-2011 13:28 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't judge me unless you can show me your acceptance letter to heaven.
←Rate | 11-26-2011 13:24 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't call people "Ugly" because its offensive. Call them facially challenged, it makes you sound smart
←Rate | 11-26-2011 13:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Happy Bella - •_• Sad Bella - •_• Excited Bella - •_• Angry Bella - •_• Shocked Bella - •_• Confused Bella - •_• - Twilight
←Rate | 11-26-2011 13:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear KFC, Why are all the people in your commercials thin? Sincerely, highly suspect.
←Rate | 11-26-2011 13:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you want her to treat you nice, first you have to treat her right.
←Rate | 11-26-2011 13:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Twilight did to vampires what Brokeback Mountain did to cowboys.
←Rate | 11-26-2011 13:00 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am thankful for Facebook for it has made my life as a stalker a whole lot easier. Gone are the days of standing in the dark, in the rain behind some bushes and providing free meal for mosquitoes no to mention restrain orders.
←Rate | 11-26-2011 12:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What do you get if you cross the Queen and Prince Phillip?
←Rate | 11-26-2011 11:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Looks like we'll get another year of Lebron James choking.
←Rate | 11-26-2011 10:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate it when the people who owe me money post about how much they bought on Black Friday
←Rate | 11-26-2011 10:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you guys were at a bar right now I'd burst through the door & say "Drinks are on me!" Then I'd go to the bathroom & climb out the window.
←Rate | 11-26-2011 10:28 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Now that Black Friday is over, wonder if Mexican Saturday means things are free??
←Rate | 11-26-2011 09:05 by urboyblue Comments (0)  


   messageicon When my life flashes before my eyes, I hope it's not the special extended edition with all the deleted scenes I've blocked from my memory.
←Rate | 11-26-2011 09:02 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
←Rate | 11-26-2011 08:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon So lets be clear ...we have the McRib, Kim Kardashian is single and the NBA is back? Black Guys are winning.........
←Rate | 11-26-2011 07:30 by sully Comments (0)  



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