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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Ladies! I may not have the pen!s of a black man but I do have the toung of a lesbi@n.
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11-28-2011 14:47 by
ff1241
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All fun things are taxed... and there is even a tax on sex... it's called children.
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11-28-2011 14:33 by
Czovczov
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Short skirts have a tendency to make gentlemen out of men. Have you ever seen a man get on a bus ahead of one?
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11-28-2011 14:31
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If someone calls you fat, Don't get angry, just turn the other chin.
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11-28-2011 14:28
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I am trying my very best to get into the holiday spirit but I cant open the damn bottle.
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11-28-2011 14:25
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My upstairs neighbour made a ground breaking discovery last night. He can't fly.
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11-28-2011 14:23
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I could tell you to go f yourself but I am afraid you will ask for directions.
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11-28-2011 14:20
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one girl scout cookie away from type two diabetes
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11-28-2011 14:19 by
Pstaff
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You gotta hand it to midgets...because they sure as siht can't reach it...
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11-28-2011 13:51
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There are some 35–45 year old men who think Cyber Monday means something else...
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11-28-2011 13:31 by
SuthernFukr
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I went shopping today for belts, and I used them right away on all the screaming kids at the store.
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11-28-2011 13:09 by
@dj_soltrix
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I wonder if Stevie Wonder knows he's black?
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11-28-2011 13:06 by
BAD GUY
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The cleanliness of my house directly depends on my chances of getting laid that day.
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11-28-2011 13:04
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Happy Cyber Monday!! A/S/L?
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11-28-2011 13:01 by
JaxWylde
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My girlfriend gave me an ultimatum; it's either her or the Facebook. So sadly, this will be my last st@tus update, in which I talk about having a girlfriend.
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11-28-2011 13:00
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The haunting fragrance of her mysterious perfume lingered long after the blinding sting of her pepper spray had faded.
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11-28-2011 12:56 by
The Director
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If you're a female, I can understand if you don't watch football, if you're a man, you have an obligation to your why chromosome.
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11-28-2011 12:53
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FACT: If Osama Bin Laden hid where I hide my porn, he would still be alive today.
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11-28-2011 12:48 by
Czovczov
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Dear Chubby kids chasing me,this is my way of helping cure Obesity...Sincerly,the Ice Cream Truck Driver.
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11-28-2011 12:47
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I hate when people on YouTube say, "if your watching this in 2011". I'm always like oh no, I'm watching it 1500 BC on my IStone.
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11-28-2011 12:29 by
@FastLaneFlyin
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