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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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What do women and A 10 Pin bowling ball have in common .??
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11-28-2011 23:12
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My dream pet would be a mermaid.
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11-28-2011 22:58 by
rusty266
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Santa is the original Voyager!
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11-28-2011 22:32 by
eaglet1122
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I Escaped from the island of Misfit people..
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11-28-2011 22:05
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They say a picture is worth a thousand words... have they ever noticed that a middle finger is worth a million?
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11-28-2011 21:49 by
BEGO
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I programmed my GPS voice to AC/DC. Now every morning on my way to work it tells me I'm on the Hightway To He!!
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11-28-2011 21:45
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If anyone happens to catch me singing in my car, my immediate reaction is to stare at them back unblinking and still singing, until it is equally awkward for both of us.
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11-28-2011 21:22
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You know what I hate?..when my key ring starts to fill itself up with unknown keys. Where do these extra keys come from?
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11-28-2011 21:17
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I like turtles because they're so chill- They're just like: "Hey man, I want to swim, & maybe eat some lettuce. But I'm gonna take my time.
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11-28-2011 21:06 by
@OMFG_Rel8able
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I escapee from the Island of Misfit Toys
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11-28-2011 21:00
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I want to deactivate my FB account, but I know I would be proud of myself and want to announce it to everyone… on Facebook.
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11-28-2011 20:45 by
BEGO
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Walking into your room and saying “Damn, I need to clean this…” then walking out.
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11-28-2011 20:45 by
BEGO
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Just loaned my friend $10,000 to get a face lift. Now I can't get my money back because I don't know what he looks like.
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11-28-2011 20:34
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It's weird...I keep hitting the home button on my phone, but I'm still at work..
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11-28-2011 20:28 by
Daheavy1
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I don't hate you, I just hope your next period starts in a shark tank.
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11-28-2011 20:27 by
Dr. Blazehawk
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does PayPal call anyone else 40 times a day from a 208-515-7481? Them people need to get a life! LOL, I'm not paying you!!
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11-28-2011 19:16
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Turns out a crash diet doesn't mean having vodka with every meal and falling down the stairs at noon!
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11-28-2011 18:57
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I Could never live in the country..unless theres a 7-11 real close.
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11-28-2011 18:51
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My identity was stolen. I hope they do a better job with my life than I did!
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11-28-2011 18:28
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I'll always be here for you...Unless there's an angry mob after you. Then I've never seen you before in my life.
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11-28-2011 18:24
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