Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon If little girls were given dolls that drank and wet because they had maternal instincts...how come us guys weren't given blow up dolls for our paternal instincts?
←Rate | 11-29-2011 00:24 by MTQ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ladies: Don't over exaggerate your make up. Your face is not a coloring book
←Rate | 11-29-2011 00:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Playing hard to get should stop when the relationship starts.
←Rate | 11-29-2011 00:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ladies: Don't be mad he can't take a hint; be mad that you are dating an idiot.
←Rate | 11-29-2011 00:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some mornings I feel like leaving my coffee until its cold enough that I can just pour it directly into my eyes.
←Rate | 11-29-2011 00:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ‎20-30 years from now, one of the hardest things our kids will be faced with is finding a screen name which is not already taken!
←Rate | 11-29-2011 00:02 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder what I did at work before I had and I-phone and Facebook.
←Rate | 11-28-2011 23:52 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon We should feed tuna fish mayonnaise... saving a step in the sandwich making process.
←Rate | 11-28-2011 23:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If we're in a car and I love the song on the radio and you turn it down to tell me something, please know that I now hate you
←Rate | 11-28-2011 23:21 by @OMFG_Rel8able Comments (0)  


   messageicon I rode in an ambulance today....I can't believe they just leave those thing running in front of the ER like a valet service.
←Rate | 11-28-2011 23:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon So, if you believe in reincarnation, on your tombstone, instead of RIP, would it say BRB?
←Rate | 11-28-2011 23:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Omg I'm so hungry I could eat my ex wife's cooking while sitting at the table with my ex mother in law!
←Rate | 11-28-2011 23:17 by KyRebel129 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What do women and A 10 Pin bowling ball have in common .??
←Rate | 11-28-2011 23:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My dream pet would be a mermaid.
←Rate | 11-28-2011 22:58 by rusty266 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Santa is the original Voyager!
←Rate | 11-28-2011 22:32 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I Escaped from the island of Misfit people..
←Rate | 11-28-2011 22:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon They say a picture is worth a thousand words... have they ever noticed that a middle finger is worth a million?
←Rate | 11-28-2011 21:49 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon I programmed my GPS voice to AC/DC. Now every morning on my way to work it tells me I'm on the Hightway To He!!
←Rate | 11-28-2011 21:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If anyone happens to catch me singing in my car, my immediate reaction is to stare at them back unblinking and still singing, until it is equally awkward for both of us.
←Rate | 11-28-2011 21:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know what I hate?..when my key ring starts to fill itself up with unknown keys. Where do these extra keys come from?
←Rate | 11-28-2011 21:17 Comments (0)  



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