Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Curious George books are a great way to teach kids that single men who wear large yellow hats and own pet monkeys are in no way threatening.
←Rate | 11-30-2011 08:54 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Seeing yet another deer crash into a car reminds me that one of us needs to tell all deer that it's time to stop texting.
←Rate | 11-30-2011 08:52 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing is scarier than an old milky eyed gypsy whispering "don'cha be 'fraid naw."
←Rate | 11-30-2011 08:49 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today is the national animal day,please take a moment to remember your EX
←Rate | 11-30-2011 08:44 by charbel Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I could live my life over again, I'd do everything the same. Except for that time I sh*t my pants in 3rd grade.
←Rate | 11-30-2011 08:02 by Stinky Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lets hear it for the curvy girls. Skinny girls, please eat something, if I want to see your ribs I would ask for your x-ray.
←Rate | 11-30-2011 06:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If self control is not eating a piece of bacon while cooking bacon, then I don't have any.
←Rate | 11-30-2011 06:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I found a 1 dollar bill in the dryer the other day and thought, "I bet this happens to strippers every time."
←Rate | 11-30-2011 06:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm pretty sure my inability to take things seriously, will one day get me murdered.
←Rate | 11-30-2011 06:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just saw a guy getting jumped. I was going to help him out, but he was wearing Crocs.
←Rate | 11-30-2011 06:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If your friends aren't making fun of you, they're not really your friends.
←Rate | 11-30-2011 06:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever I open the fridge, my dog looks at me with a face that simply says "why don't you eat all the food?"
←Rate | 11-30-2011 05:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I LOVE beating women..... to the door so I can hold it open for them
←Rate | 11-30-2011 05:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Apparently it is frowned upon to walk into the convenience store, grab a box of condoms and ask "where is the fitting room?"
←Rate | 11-30-2011 03:17 by AAS Comments (0)  


   messageicon 2011: You mad bro? 1800: Art thou angered brethren?
←Rate | 11-30-2011 03:14 by AAS Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bored? Send a text message to a random number saying: "I'm Pregnant"
←Rate | 11-30-2011 03:11 by AAS Comments (0)  


   messageicon 4 out of 5 fingers agree that you're a good driver.
←Rate | 11-30-2011 03:08 by AAS Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear people who spell shop 'shoppe', please stoppe.
←Rate | 11-30-2011 03:07 by AAS Comments (0)  


   messageicon It takes a great deal of courage to admit you've seen Herman Cain naked.
←Rate | 11-30-2011 03:05 by AAS Comments (0)  


   messageicon My girlfriend got mad at me because I didn't like her Facebook status 30 minutes after she posted it. It's not like I have a magical Facebook device on me at all times. Sent via safari for iPhone.
←Rate | 11-30-2011 02:43 by Jackbrass Comments (0)  



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