Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 4182 of 5577

   messageicon she's so sexy I won't let her in the bathroom with me for the fear of wet ceiling tiles, RJ
←Rate | 11-15-2011 02:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nobody in this world can be as patient as Ted Mosby's children.
←Rate | 11-15-2011 02:14 by dhruvkapoor7 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I going to wear my Pinocchio G-string underwear to bed..... and tell my wife to tell me lies,,,,,,, tell me sweet little lies!!!!!!!...I will let you know how it goes.... LOL :-)
←Rate | 11-15-2011 01:39 by djdan Comments (0)  


   messageicon Are seniors from a church group in the hood submitting all these? or just the most moronic people new to the internet?
←Rate | 11-15-2011 01:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you don't want anyone to find out, don't do it.
←Rate | 11-15-2011 01:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It takes a man to admit he's wrong....it takes a woman to get him to do it.
←Rate | 11-15-2011 01:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon In a recession, the most secure job is garbage-man. Business is always picking up.
←Rate | 11-15-2011 01:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women who wear $200.00 perfume obviously are known to have no common scents.
←Rate | 11-15-2011 01:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never lie to an x-ray technician. They can see right through you.
←Rate | 11-15-2011 01:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best way to stop a charging bull is to take away his credit card.
←Rate | 11-15-2011 01:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've failed the mathematics test so many times I lost count.
←Rate | 11-15-2011 01:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Admit it....You once made a little kid cry, and then made them laugh so you wouldn't get in trouble...
←Rate | 11-15-2011 00:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A friend of mine said onions are the only food that can make you cry..that was before I hit him in the face with a watermelon
←Rate | 11-14-2011 23:51 by Sasquatch_AV Comments (0)  


   messageicon Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord my soul to keep. If I shall die before I wake.....please log into my computer and delete my browsing history and temporary files before my mom sees it. My password is *******. Thanks
←Rate | 11-14-2011 23:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "It's impossible," said pride. "It's risky," said experience. "It's pointless," said reason. "Give it a try," said the heart.
←Rate | 11-14-2011 23:00 by Surge Yarmolyuk Comments (0)  


   messageicon Its much easier to to turn a friendship into love.. then love into a friendship.
←Rate | 11-14-2011 22:58 by Surge Yarmolyuk Comments (0)  


   messageicon Cheating is a choice... Not a mistake.
←Rate | 11-14-2011 22:57 by Surge Yarmolyuk Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some girls say that they need a boyfriend to keep them warm in the winter. I just bought a coat
←Rate | 11-14-2011 22:34 by Dr. Blazehawk Comments (0)  


   messageicon Having your cell phone clipped to your belt is helpful for letting everyone know that you won't be getting laid tonight.
←Rate | 11-14-2011 22:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women only need 3.5 inches to achieve maximum pleasure… it's called a credit card.
←Rate | 11-14-2011 22:24 Comments (0)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left