Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon hates double standards. If a chick bangs a bunch of dudes, she's a slut. If a guy does it, he's a homosexual.
←Rate | 12-01-2011 00:49 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon Came home to find all the doors and windows open and everything gone..what kind of sick person would do that to someone's advent calendar??
←Rate | 12-01-2011 00:47 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon Oh, so it's ok for Superman to wear his underpants on the outside but not me? Sometimes I don't even know why I bother showing up to court anymore.
←Rate | 12-01-2011 00:45 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon the last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still technically on the list.
←Rate | 12-01-2011 00:45 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon went to a karaoke bar that had no 70's songs. At first I was afraid, I was petrified.
←Rate | 12-01-2011 00:38 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon ‎30 Days more......to plan another New Year's resolutions or a new start on old habits!!
←Rate | 12-01-2011 00:32 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I look at what someone is wearing and I can't help but think, "did you give up on life?"
←Rate | 12-01-2011 00:31 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon 2011: bros before hoes 1800: brethren foregoing lasses.
←Rate | 12-01-2011 00:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It sucks when you have to much month left at the end of your money
←Rate | 11-30-2011 23:42 by ugg Comments (0)  


   messageicon Well the WD40 worked, the squeek is gone.... But now the guinea pig just lays there lifeless
←Rate | 11-30-2011 23:41 by wd40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you pull the pin out of a grenade, can you put it back in and let go? I'm going to need a quick answer for this....
←Rate | 11-30-2011 23:39 by teehee Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can honestly say I'm 150lbs of pure sexy! Plus 50ish lbs of something soft and squishy
←Rate | 11-30-2011 23:34 by drrr Comments (0)  


   messageicon My girlfriend tried to buy something in the internet yesterday... Anyone know how to get a creditcard out of a disk drive?
←Rate | 11-30-2011 23:32 by ginja ninja Comments (0)  


   messageicon From now on every time I see a "for lease" sign, I will put a "navidad" sign under it
←Rate | 11-30-2011 23:31 by David Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can ytpe 300 wrosd pre mnitue.
←Rate | 11-30-2011 23:25 by poc Comments (0)  


   messageicon im gonna take a hot shower its like a normal shower but with me in it
←Rate | 11-30-2011 23:21 by yodawg Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate it when your girlfriend asks you to hold her handbag, and it doesn't match what you're wearing.
←Rate | 11-30-2011 23:20 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon When girls impersonate guys, they make their voice deeper and add a "stupid" tone to it. When guys impersonate girls, we make our voice go an octave higher and add an attitude.
←Rate | 11-30-2011 23:18 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon with out me awesome would just be awes
←Rate | 11-30-2011 23:09 by David Comments (0)  


   messageicon Math tells us of the 3 saddest love stories: Of parallel lines, who were never meant to meet. Of tangent lines, who were together once then parted forever. And of asymptotes, who could only get closer and closer, but never could be together.
←Rate | 11-30-2011 23:08 by g0re Comments (0)  



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