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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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The other day I was trying to think of Cris Brown's biggest hit....That's when I realized it was Rihanna!
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12-04-2011 14:08 by
Erin Leigh
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You know you are useless when no one is ever scared of losing you.
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12-04-2011 14:07
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To do List: Grab a random kid by the shoulders and scream. "IM YOU...FROM THE FUTURE!"
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12-04-2011 13:52
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"Baby, baby, baby, OHHH". Dad: Son, are you listening to Justin Bieber? Kid: No, I'm watching porn Dad: Oh, thank GOODNESS!
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12-04-2011 13:44
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I failed my human anatomy exam today. I'm pretty sure it's because I'm blind in one ear though.
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12-04-2011 13:14
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If zombies ever attack just go to costco, they have concrete walls, years of food and supplies, and zombies can't get in without a costco membership card
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12-04-2011 12:57 by
Mc Nutsack
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Condoms aren't completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one and got hit by a bus
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12-04-2011 12:57 by
Mel
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Everyone has a 'vodka incident'
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12-04-2011 12:32 by
@OMFG_Rel8able
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I am the 0.001% that doesn't cheat in relationships.
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12-04-2011 12:15
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If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea… does that mean that one enjoys it?
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12-04-2011 12:07
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If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong…
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12-04-2011 12:06
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Dreamt I was forced to eat my way out of a ginger bread house
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12-04-2011 11:21 by
smeebert
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I'm having one of those "can't get my inflatable Santa-in-a-helicopter to stick to the roof of my inflatable manger" mornings.
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12-04-2011 08:28 by
SuthernFukr
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Welcome to the SATs - your score today may determine which College Loan you'll be paying well into your 40s. Let's begin.
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12-04-2011 08:25 by
SuthernFukr
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Just bought a Ken doll. I don't know what everyone's talking about, you can't read books on this thing.
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12-04-2011 08:24 by
SuthernFukr
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You're curious as to how Taylor Swifts songs will change when she can legally drink alcohol
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12-04-2011 04:43 by
g0re
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When your girlfriend has Taylor Swift lyrics as her status, you know you're either doing something very right, or something very wrong.
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12-04-2011 04:38 by
g0re
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Firetrucks and ambulances would be much more effective if they were to replace that annoying siren with the song Move B!tch by Ludacris..
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12-04-2011 04:04 by
g0re
| Tags: Filtered
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Nothing screams, 'Pedophile' like having curtains on your van windows.
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12-04-2011 03:45 by
KISSTOPHER
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Without coffee and alcohol, we'd all hate each other a whole lot more.
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12-04-2011 03:44 by
Czovczov
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