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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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If I could go back in time I would be playing recieve with your mom!
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11-21-2011 11:37
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The AMA does NOT reward talented MUSICIANS for making remarkable music, it rewards ENTERTAINERS for entertaining the easily entertained.
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11-21-2011 09:15 by
SuthernFukr
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Dora has taught me just enough Spanish to engage Spanish-speaking people in the worst conversation they've ever had.
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11-21-2011 09:14 by
SuthernFukr
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It's that time of year again where commercials remind me that I will probably never get a car with a bow on it.
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11-21-2011 09:13 by
SuthernFukr
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"The Force" is weird. How come a Jedi can detect a planet being destroyed light years away but can't tell he is kissing his own sister?
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11-21-2011 09:12 by
SuthernFukr
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The most awkward place to run into a homeless person is on your way to a Coinstar.
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11-21-2011 09:12 by
SuthernFukr
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When it rains in LA it's the tears of all the unemployed party clowns.
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11-21-2011 09:01 by
SuthernFukr
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Turns out "LEGO" is Danish for, "Ouch! That hurt my foot!"
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11-21-2011 09:00 by
SuthernFukr
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People need to stop trending #LMFAO. I've seen obesity statistics, you're not laughing anything off.
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11-21-2011 08:57 by
SuthernFukr
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My "safe place" is filled with unstable chemicals and psychedelic teddy bears with knives for claws, so I guess it's kind of a misnomer.
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11-21-2011 08:56 by
SuthernFukr
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A recent survey of one person revealed that 100% of me thinks that I should leave work early.
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11-21-2011 08:55 by
SuthernFukr
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Very little happens at 3 o'clock in the morning, but when it does, it's usually very memorable.
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11-21-2011 08:52 by
SuthernFukr
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People are funny. They spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't need, to impress people they don't like.
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11-21-2011 08:51 by
SuthernFukr
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Someone really screwed over that Adele Chick! Can you say stalker!
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11-21-2011 06:45
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TWILIGHT has pretty much forever ruined the names, Edward, Bella & Jacob.
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11-21-2011 06:34
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Why can't Edward read Bella's thoughts? Because she doesn't have any.
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11-21-2011 06:34
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If any of you ever have to identify my dead body, I'd appreciate you saying it's not me.
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11-21-2011 06:32 by
MTQ
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I don't ever wanna get married, because I believe in Freedom of Speech.
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11-21-2011 00:36
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Just put on 12 Nickelback songs and walked out of the bar
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11-20-2011 23:51
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Hey status messages auto correct, stop tampering with my swear words, you mother forklift.
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11-20-2011 23:33
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