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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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That grandma that got run over by a reindeer was lucky she never lived to hear the terrible Christmas song they wrote about her.
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12-07-2011 16:12
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Talk to your grandparents about the dangers of sexting.
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12-07-2011 16:10
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n't it nice that soon Justin Bieber will go through puberty, Twilight will end, & Mr.Potter's gone? Everything's going to be normal again
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12-07-2011 16:05
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Yeah let's clone some sheep cause dinosaurs would be too awesome." - Scientists.
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12-07-2011 16:04
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I'm just like Rebecca Black...it takes me until Friday to decide whether I'm sitting in the front or back seat.
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12-07-2011 15:59
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Rudolph is the only reindeer who doesn't have a stripper name.
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12-07-2011 15:49
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One day I wanna copy someone's status word for word and see if they notice.
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12-07-2011 15:48 by
Fat Alec
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The Discovery Channel is filming a new series about my ex-wife. It is called Deadliest Snatch
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12-07-2011 15:48
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I'm trying not to judge, but your silver front teeth scream "Medi-Cal".
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12-07-2011 15:42 by
Goodeolboy
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"i don't really like blow ups... they just don't do it for me." -overheard in the Christmas inflatables section of Target
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12-07-2011 15:35 by
JaxWylde
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If I could do a back flip you'd know it because that's how I would exit every room.
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12-07-2011 15:29 by
Aaron
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If my girlfriend f*cked liked she whines, I would be the luckiest guy ever.
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12-07-2011 14:25
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if men had periods, would they brag about the size of their tampons?
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12-07-2011 14:17
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Always be true to yourself. But feel free to lie to everyone else as needed.
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12-07-2011 14:15 by
KISSTOPHER
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Anybody that says "I don't know what I did to deserve this" knows exactly what they did to deserve it.
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12-07-2011 14:14
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My relationship is definitely gaining ground. The judge reduced the restraining order from 400 to 100 feet.
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12-07-2011 14:03
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If you ever see Rick Ross running, call the police.
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12-07-2011 13:39
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Patience" is what parents have when there are witnesses
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12-07-2011 13:37 by
SEAN
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You know you are ugly when your profile pic is never you.
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12-07-2011 13:33
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Some guy at work just asked me if I was homosexual. His exact words were "Do you like Twilight?"
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12-07-2011 13:30 by
Czovczov
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