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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Life would be more bearable if our problems only lasted as long as Kim Kardashian's marriage.
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11-22-2011 14:39
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Shut up unless you want your next period to come out through your nose.
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11-22-2011 14:36 by
BAD GUY
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I think I may be getting too old for a holiday metro vest and skinny jeans....Which most likely explains the weird looks I was getting when I split my pants while shopping at Hot Topic!
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11-22-2011 14:27 by
totalpackage
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Life is like toilet paper, you're either on a roll or you're taking sh!t from some @sshole!
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11-22-2011 14:19 by
Petrus
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Funny how things change with time, I used to hate spankings.. ;)
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11-22-2011 14:16 by
@RonnieChapman
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There are some words you can't just take back, no matter how sorry you say you are.
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11-22-2011 13:55
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i'd like to see things your way but i'm not sure I can stick my head that far up my ass
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11-22-2011 13:40 by
?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
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war doesn't determine who's right . . . war determines who's left . . .
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11-22-2011 12:55 by
?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
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I don't understand how awareness campaigns are helpful for things everyone in the world is already aware of.
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11-22-2011 12:11 by
SuthernFukr
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People are like books. You can't judge them by appearance alone and it's not cool to burn a big pile of them.
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11-22-2011 12:09 by
SuthernFukr
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If you are asking me for directions in Spanish, you are likely to get lost in translation.
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11-22-2011 10:47
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"Yep, I definitely have Herpes." -least stolen Facebook Status update, probably.
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11-22-2011 10:40
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My favorite part of Thanksgiving is stuffing the turkey. By turkey I mean the hot cashier at the grocery store.
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11-22-2011 10:30 by
SuthernFukr
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I don't think I'll ever forgive the media for covering “Dancing with the Stars” like it's news.
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11-22-2011 10:29 by
SuthernFukr
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Congrats on your move out to LA. Now your chances of becoming a big star are only 1:9,575,972,204,712.
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11-22-2011 09:56 by
MTQ
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That uneasy moment when you work at Subway and have to make a girl a sandwich.
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11-22-2011 09:51 by
Czovczov
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"We... did... start the fire..." - Billy Joel on his deathbed
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11-22-2011 09:30 by
Nunthewizr
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zombies can't smell vampires...
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11-22-2011 08:50 by
guthguth
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If going down on one knee is called Tebowing, then I guess dropping your pants and bending over is called being a US citizen!
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11-22-2011 08:50
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Just wrote my rent check in hieroglyphics, that should delay things for a while.
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11-22-2011 08:50 by
SuthernFukr
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