Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Someday, anthropologists will look back at these "mirror self-portraits" and refer to this time as the Bathroom Era.
←Rate | 12-08-2011 18:19 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon If money's tight this holiday season, a handmade card or gift is a lovely way to say, "Here's a present you won't like."
←Rate | 12-08-2011 18:18 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do you realize that a woman's "I'll be ready in five minutes." and a guy's " I'll be home in five minutes." are exactly the same?
←Rate | 12-08-2011 17:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's so cold out, my nipples got to work 5 minutes before I did. Brrr...
←Rate | 12-08-2011 16:50 by bdog987 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I see all these women outside in short skirts. If they don't catch frostbite, they'll definitely catch an STD
←Rate | 12-08-2011 16:37 by Yaj Comments (0)  


   messageicon Serendipity - When an empty glass and a bottle of booze cross paths
←Rate | 12-08-2011 16:32 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Even ugly babies are still kinda cute.
←Rate | 12-08-2011 14:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Safer to let my kids walk in Compton then let them go to VA Tech!
←Rate | 12-08-2011 14:29 by zman87 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Theres no way in hell I'm ever buying my child a Elmo doll...I'm still having nightmares from having one as a child!
←Rate | 12-08-2011 14:28 by Seanathon Comments (0)  


   messageicon The "J" in my neighbors joy sign burned out. A multi-faith family perhaps?
←Rate | 12-08-2011 14:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Albert Pujols $250M baseball contract is totally unfair. He should give some of those $ to players who aren't nearly as good. WTF, we should occupy his house.......
←Rate | 12-08-2011 13:44 by sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon Friends are like a string of Christmas lights. Some are broke, some are burned out, others just don't work for you, a few aren't the brightest, some even need you to untangle the mess they are in..but most of them shine brightest when your day is darkest.
←Rate | 12-08-2011 13:16 by lkl627 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Who else thinks their ringtone is the best, but when you're in public and it rings, it's the most embarrassing moment of your life?
←Rate | 12-08-2011 11:13 by fadolo Comments (2)  


   messageicon took you to dinner,a movie,then for drinks,get back to your house then tell me you have your period (・_・)ノ”(ノ_<)
←Rate | 12-08-2011 11:12 by fadolo Comments (0)  


   messageicon following his rehab, Jerry Sandusky will sign on to host the new game show 'Are You Hotter Than A 5th Grader'
←Rate | 12-08-2011 11:06 by @tonylarosa Comments (0)  


   messageicon For all of you wondering what to do with your Pujols Jerseys. Keep them! Buy some red tape and put a line over the 5 like this >$
←Rate | 12-08-2011 11:06 by JAMIEG Comments (0)  


   messageicon Studies indicate that most of the damage can be reversed in about 15 years, if you want to let your babies start smoking now.
←Rate | 12-08-2011 11:01 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon If an athlete's photographed with a bong it's an embarrassment; if he's photographed with a beer it's an endorsement.
←Rate | 12-08-2011 11:01 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you turn on tennis and shut your eyes it sounds like a porno
←Rate | 12-08-2011 10:55 by fadolo Comments (0)  


   messageicon If your bf/gf is deliberately hiding his/her phone from you, your relationship is over. Sorry.
←Rate | 12-08-2011 10:05 by Rusty266 Comments (1)  



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