Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 4139 of 5594

   messageicon This just in: President Obama calls for Iran to return the lost predator drone. Iran replies, "Not until the spy pilot emerges and faces us for his treachery."
←Rate | 12-13-2011 11:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Time heals everything...except bad tattoos.
←Rate | 12-13-2011 10:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dad: “A little bird tells me you are doing drugs” Son: “You're talking to birds and I'm the one doing drugs?”
←Rate | 12-13-2011 10:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey big girls: One size fits all on lingerie is just a misleading marketing ploy. Now they got you looking like a trapped seal in a fishnet.
←Rate | 12-13-2011 10:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Mitt Romney proposed to bet with Rick Perry for $10,000. Or as its known in Republican circles, pocket change. Or 2 ½ hookers.
←Rate | 12-13-2011 10:05 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Going to the stores and hiding nuggets of weed in nutcracker mouths is how I like to unleash social entropy during this time of year.
←Rate | 12-13-2011 10:04 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ho, Ho, Ho!" - Santa Claus doing a naughty girl head count.
←Rate | 12-13-2011 10:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Anybody else having trouble finding a Tebow jersey small enough to fit on their light-up baby Jesus?
←Rate | 12-13-2011 10:04 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon There is a big difference between drinking to get drunk and drinking to stay warm, and HR needs to learn that difference.
←Rate | 12-13-2011 10:03 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Threesomes get super-awkward when the third person wakes up.
←Rate | 12-13-2011 10:03 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon My Roomba has seen too much.
←Rate | 12-13-2011 09:54 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon To all the merchants trying to make a buck off of Christmas...Go elf yourself!
←Rate | 12-13-2011 09:53 by Goodeolboy Comments (0)  


   messageicon When it gets dark early, the universe dares the drunk within me to get started.
←Rate | 12-13-2011 09:52 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon It amazes me how all of these infomercials talk about different ways to make your pen!s larger, but they never mention just playing with it.
←Rate | 12-13-2011 09:52 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon All bad decisions are ultimately made using the same piece of resounding logic: “Screw it.”
←Rate | 12-13-2011 09:49 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm starting to think it's probably not that hard out there for a pimp.
←Rate | 12-13-2011 09:15 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I declined an iTunes Terms & Conditions update. Immediately my phone rang. A cold robotic voice said "wrong move silly human."
←Rate | 12-13-2011 09:14 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some people lack the ability to laugh at themselves. And thats where I come in.
←Rate | 12-13-2011 09:13 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Be open to whatever comes next,, unless it's a pen!s.
←Rate | 12-13-2011 08:17 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon I got 99 problems and sexual frustration plays a huge part in all of them
←Rate | 12-13-2011 08:00 Comments (0)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left