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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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This just in: President Obama calls for Iran to return the lost predator drone. Iran replies, "Not until the spy pilot emerges and faces us for his treachery."
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12-13-2011 11:58
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Time heals everything...except bad tattoos.
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12-13-2011 10:34
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Dad: “A little bird tells me you are doing drugs” Son: “You're talking to birds and I'm the one doing drugs?”
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12-13-2011 10:31
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Hey big girls: One size fits all on lingerie is just a misleading marketing ploy. Now they got you looking like a trapped seal in a fishnet.
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12-13-2011 10:24
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Mitt Romney proposed to bet with Rick Perry for $10,000. Or as its known in Republican circles, pocket change. Or 2 ½ hookers.
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12-13-2011 10:05 by
SuthernFukr
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Going to the stores and hiding nuggets of weed in nutcracker mouths is how I like to unleash social entropy during this time of year.
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12-13-2011 10:04 by
SuthernFukr
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Ho, Ho, Ho!" - Santa Claus doing a naughty girl head count.
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12-13-2011 10:04
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Anybody else having trouble finding a Tebow jersey small enough to fit on their light-up baby Jesus?
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12-13-2011 10:04 by
SuthernFukr
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There is a big difference between drinking to get drunk and drinking to stay warm, and HR needs to learn that difference.
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12-13-2011 10:03 by
SuthernFukr
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Threesomes get super-awkward when the third person wakes up.
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12-13-2011 10:03 by
SuthernFukr
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My Roomba has seen too much.
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12-13-2011 09:54 by
SuthernFukr
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To all the merchants trying to make a buck off of Christmas...Go elf yourself!
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12-13-2011 09:53 by
Goodeolboy
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When it gets dark early, the universe dares the drunk within me to get started.
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12-13-2011 09:52 by
SuthernFukr
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It amazes me how all of these infomercials talk about different ways to make your pen!s larger, but they never mention just playing with it.
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12-13-2011 09:52 by
SuthernFukr
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All bad decisions are ultimately made using the same piece of resounding logic: “Screw it.”
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12-13-2011 09:49 by
SuthernFukr
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I'm starting to think it's probably not that hard out there for a pimp.
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12-13-2011 09:15 by
flinnie
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I declined an iTunes Terms & Conditions update. Immediately my phone rang. A cold robotic voice said "wrong move silly human."
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12-13-2011 09:14 by
flinnie
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Some people lack the ability to laugh at themselves. And thats where I come in.
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12-13-2011 09:13 by
flinnie
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Be open to whatever comes next,, unless it's a pen!s.
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12-13-2011 08:17 | Tags: Filtered
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I got 99 problems and sexual frustration plays a huge part in all of them
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12-13-2011 08:00
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