Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon If you have a favorite Kardashian, I have no use for you.
←Rate | 12-12-2011 19:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If your question starts with "Is it bad that......." then yes, yes it is bad that you... but I like the way you party.
←Rate | 12-12-2011 19:26 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go Jesus. It's yer birfday. We gonna party like it's yer birfday. We gonna sip some egg nog like it's yer birfday. And you know we gonna give some gifts cuz dats yer birfday.
←Rate | 12-12-2011 19:25 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every Christmas for the last 15 years, I've been too drunk to remember the good times and the laughter we shared. Well, enough is enough. It's time to get my act together. This Christmas, I'm hiring a cameraman.
←Rate | 12-12-2011 19:21 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just once I want a Walmart greeter to give me the finger and mouth the words "f*ck you."
←Rate | 12-12-2011 19:18 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think it's only fair to throw Monopoly money at strippers with fake boobs.
←Rate | 12-12-2011 19:15 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm going to start rubbing Q-Tips on my head.....They have done wonders for growing hair in my ears.
←Rate | 12-12-2011 19:14 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's that time of year again when our thoughts should turn to those less well off in our towns and cities, so remember to lock your doors and windows...
←Rate | 12-12-2011 19:11 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon C'mon someone give me something to make fun of! - Me, talking to my wall.
←Rate | 12-12-2011 19:08 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever I go to WalMart I like to wear jeans with no stains, a freshly washed shirt and shoes that tie so I can listen to all the other shoppers say, "Hey, check out the rich guy."
←Rate | 12-12-2011 19:06 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon One man's "trauma" is another man's "most hilarious thing I've ever seen."
←Rate | 12-12-2011 19:05 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon FYI: If you are ahead of me in the checkout line and you tell me that you are sorry but you will be right back because you forgot something I bet you won't be back faster than I can't rub your apples under my arm pits and fart on your french bread.
←Rate | 12-12-2011 19:04 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only Christmas movie I can even remotely relate to is "Bad Santa." And you damn right I want some sandwiches.
←Rate | 12-12-2011 18:50 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon You always know when you come across a ghetto b!tch. They don't have inside voices. They only have "I wanna make sure everyone f*cking hears this" voices.
←Rate | 12-12-2011 18:48 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just put Nicotine patches on my eyelids, now I can see noises!
←Rate | 12-12-2011 18:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" is a great song if you're into festive celebrations of inexplicable marital infidelity.
←Rate | 12-12-2011 16:54 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can tell you something about rental cars...don't rent a Ford Focus if you like to go 90mph. I think I unfocused it.
←Rate | 12-12-2011 16:53 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon HOLIDAY PARTY TIP: If the mood's right under the mistletoe, don't be afraid to go in for a little mistlefinger.
←Rate | 12-12-2011 16:52 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm the guy who spits his gum in the urinal.
←Rate | 12-12-2011 16:51 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's weird that our sex parts are also our poopoo peepee parts.
←Rate | 12-12-2011 16:47 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  



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