Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon If there is a line of GAY people is it still a STRAIGHT line ?
←Rate | 12-14-2011 08:00 by @anikethmendonca Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't you hate when you read someone's post that you usually find at least a little chuckle of humor in and not only is there no chuckle, it's not even insightful or clever and it's just entirely too long and the sentence runs on and on yet for some reaso
←Rate | 12-14-2011 07:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My dog and I have the best conversations when I'm drunk.
←Rate | 12-14-2011 07:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Behind every great musician, there is a great drug dealer.
←Rate | 12-14-2011 07:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon No honey you are not fat. You are just too sexy that it overflows.
←Rate | 12-14-2011 07:22 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have the ability to get wasted and function at the office appropriately the next day... it's my super power.
←Rate | 12-14-2011 07:15 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon It must have been very awkward for the guy who invented the tampon when he had to explain his invention to everyone else.
←Rate | 12-14-2011 07:13 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Funny text messages to send! 1. Those innocent eyes, those kissable lips, that beautiful smile, that sexy voice.. anyway enough bout me, how are you;)?
←Rate | 12-14-2011 06:44 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon One leg in the past and one leg in the future means your pissing on the present....
←Rate | 12-14-2011 06:40 by Daymo Comments (0)  


   messageicon I won't rise to the occasion, but I'll slide over to it.
←Rate | 12-14-2011 06:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon the "ESC" button is NOt for teleportation. You will never escape.
←Rate | 12-14-2011 06:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think my best friends and I abuse each other more than the people we actually hate.
←Rate | 12-14-2011 06:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am not allowed to talk to strange punctuations
←Rate | 12-14-2011 05:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Maybe women wear a watch because they dont carry a stove with them everywhere they go you sexist b@stard.
←Rate | 12-14-2011 05:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Cops: “Please step out of the car” Me: “I can't. I'm drunk. You get in.
←Rate | 12-14-2011 02:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's a special place in Hell reserved for people who use hashtags on their Facebook statuses.
←Rate | 12-14-2011 02:13 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't understand why women wear watches when there's a perfectly good clock on the stove.
←Rate | 12-14-2011 02:12 Comments (1)  


   messageicon I just signed up for a well known diet plan. So far, all I've lost is $200
←Rate | 12-14-2011 02:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It would be impossible to throw Jesus a surprise birthday party.
←Rate | 12-14-2011 02:01 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like to walk around the house naked. Until the neighbours chase me back inside.
←Rate | 12-14-2011 01:59 Comments (0)  



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