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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin. It tastes the same, but you know its wrong....
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11-30-2011 17:05 by
aaron
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If Justing Bieber was a real man, he wouldn't have his own line of womens perfume...
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11-30-2011 16:59 by
Matt
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Women are addicting
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11-30-2011 16:53 by
Abram
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i'm not an alcoholic, i'm a drunk... alcoholics go to meetings
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11-30-2011 16:14 by
Eddy
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apparently Conrad Murray wasn't a SMOOTH CRIMINAL like he though. now if he drops the soap he gets a THRILLER.
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11-30-2011 16:12 by
Eddy
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Are you really leaving or are you just trying to brighten up my day?
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11-30-2011 16:09
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I don't know what I'd do without you guys but I bet it would be something productive.
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11-30-2011 16:08
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In my house I'm the boss. My wife is just the decision maker.
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11-30-2011 16:07
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You are stronger than you think you are. Keep pushing forward, never give up on your dreams, and don't let anyone stop you
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11-30-2011 14:27
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Stuff happens.. but it is nothing that a bowl of Captain Crunch can't fix
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11-30-2011 14:21
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I'm not saying I'm out of shape, but following a brisk hike down the stairs to the fridge I just sweated out Vince Vaughn holding a bottle of bourbon.
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11-30-2011 14:18 by
Doc Noland
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To the untrained eye, I'm quite handsome.
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11-30-2011 13:30
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This Cottage cheese needs something. Like a burger and fries.
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11-30-2011 13:14
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Once a month, women go completely crazy for about thirty days.
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11-30-2011 12:39
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Love is like a game, Some people Cheat and some prefer to play it fair.
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11-30-2011 12:36
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im gassy while watching the news... imma go occupy the toilet
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11-30-2011 12:26 by
me
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Some woman has just said to me... Oh it's the last day of November, are you going to be shaving your tash"... No darling I'm keeping it, what about yours ?
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11-30-2011 12:19 by
Memz
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The best thing about sex is that part where I have it.
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11-30-2011 12:10
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There is no "i" in liar
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11-30-2011 12:09
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Like this status Ladies and I'll take you to see the Muppets Movie.
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11-30-2011 11:52 by
L
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