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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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When Hermione's true love left her, she continued on to help Harry defeat the most powerful wizard of all time. When Bella's true love left her, she curled up in the fetal position for four months, cried, and jumped off a cliff..
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12-03-2011 20:49 by
g0re
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just ate 4 fiber bars today, been on the toilet for the past hour :/
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12-03-2011 20:43
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"Knock, knock," "Who's there?" "To.""To who?" "To whom."
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12-03-2011 20:25 by
g0re
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forecast for tonight? Alcohol, low standards, and poor decisions.
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12-03-2011 19:53 by
fadolo
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If you pay peanuts you get monkeys
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12-03-2011 19:47 by
Sibella
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666: Some see it as evil, I see it as 3 six-packs!
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12-03-2011 19:22 by
ARM
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~• << Picture of me when I was younger.
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12-03-2011 19:06
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I may not be Einstein, but dumb + dumb = you
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12-03-2011 19:06
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I can't stand people who drink and wanna be all extra chatty or whiny just drink, get drunk, stfu and be happy.
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12-03-2011 18:49
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If I ever become rich and famous, I won't forget my friends. They will be a fond and nostalgic memory.
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12-03-2011 18:43 by
Aaron
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Dear Santa, all I want for Christmas is your List of Naughty Girls!
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12-03-2011 18:33
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Your car & phone may be smart, doesn't mean you are.
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12-03-2011 16:56
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some Females get all dressed up for school but fail all their classes.
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12-03-2011 16:06
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You can look at some people and instantly know they're only going to get two awards in life, a birth and a death certificate.
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12-03-2011 16:02
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"I got 99 chores and I ain't did one." - Lay Z
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12-03-2011 16:00 by
@qpid901
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Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear.
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12-03-2011 15:22 by
jitneyman
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You know ladies, us guys may not know what its like to have "that time of the month" but we sure have front row seats to it.
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12-03-2011 15:05
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Who wears the pants in the relationship? No one when it all goes well ;)
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12-03-2011 14:25
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Due to the coal shortage Santa will be giving Nickelback CD's to all the bad kids this year!
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12-03-2011 14:20 by
totalpackage
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Have you ever looked at someone and just known that the wheel was turning but the hamster was dead?
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12-03-2011 14:19 by
hawkeinmd
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