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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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it's been a terrible year for my fantasy dictator league
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12-19-2011 06:22 by
flinnie
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Who is Kim jong ......Wasnt that an 80s song?.......Everybody kim jong tonight........
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12-19-2011 05:39 by
jfraze21
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Kim Jong died? I didn't even know he was IL
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12-19-2011 05:32
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Feeling poor and full of cookies. You can tell it's Christmas.
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12-19-2011 05:26
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From the way you did your make up, I can tell how much you miss kindergarten coloring books.
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12-19-2011 03:12
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If Eve doomed the entire human race for an apple, I wonder what she would do for a Klondike bar?
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12-19-2011 03:07
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A toast Gentlemen, To girlfriends and wives. May they never meet
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12-19-2011 03:04 by
flipphonescott
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My girlfriend has this sick sexual fetish of trying to cuddle with me after sex.
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12-19-2011 03:00
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I am sorry I didn't recognize you back there. The last time I saw you, you had only one chin.
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12-19-2011 02:54
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Funny new trend at the office. People putting names on food in the company fridge. Today I had a tuna sandwich named Bob.
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12-19-2011 02:53
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Liquor stores are open 24/7 when you have a brick.
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12-19-2011 02:51
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If you're not into casual sex, I can put on a bow tie and we'll call it formal sex.
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12-19-2011 02:48 by
KISSTOPHER
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If you can't take a joke, don't walk around looking like one.
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12-19-2011 02:46 by
Czovczov
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The only thing preventing me from smashing my alarm clock against the wall in the morning is the fact that it's also my cellphone.
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12-19-2011 02:46 by
Czovczov
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Tim Hortons needs one of those highway construction signs for the drive thru, expect delays
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12-19-2011 02:44 by
@tuxxer
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I have no respect for people who eat pizza with a fork.
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12-19-2011 02:44
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I call dibs on his armored train for Christmas!
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12-19-2011 02:33
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Sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage.
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12-19-2011 02:32
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If you love a balloon, set it free. If it comes back to you, it probably wasn't a balloon
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12-19-2011 02:22
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Dear Wal-Mart! After 8 p.m. Please QUIT PUTTING the SLOWEST,OLDEST people behind the Speedy Check Out!
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12-19-2011 01:32 by
DJ IGGY
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