Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon it's been a terrible year for my fantasy dictator league
←Rate | 12-19-2011 06:22 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Who is Kim jong ......Wasnt that an 80s song?.......Everybody kim jong tonight........
←Rate | 12-19-2011 05:39 by jfraze21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kim Jong died? I didn't even know he was IL
←Rate | 12-19-2011 05:32 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Feeling poor and full of cookies. You can tell it's Christmas.
←Rate | 12-19-2011 05:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon From the way you did your make up, I can tell how much you miss kindergarten coloring books.
←Rate | 12-19-2011 03:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If Eve doomed the entire human race for an apple, I wonder what she would do for a Klondike bar?
←Rate | 12-19-2011 03:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A toast Gentlemen, To girlfriends and wives. May they never meet
←Rate | 12-19-2011 03:04 by flipphonescott Comments (0)  


   messageicon My girlfriend has this sick sexual fetish of trying to cuddle with me after sex.
←Rate | 12-19-2011 03:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am sorry I didn't recognize you back there. The last time I saw you, you had only one chin.
←Rate | 12-19-2011 02:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Funny new trend at the office. People putting names on food in the company fridge. Today I had a tuna sandwich named Bob.
←Rate | 12-19-2011 02:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Liquor stores are open 24/7 when you have a brick.
←Rate | 12-19-2011 02:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're not into casual sex, I can put on a bow tie and we'll call it formal sex.
←Rate | 12-19-2011 02:48 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you can't take a joke, don't walk around looking like one.
←Rate | 12-19-2011 02:46 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only thing preventing me from smashing my alarm clock against the wall in the morning is the fact that it's also my cellphone.
←Rate | 12-19-2011 02:46 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tim Hortons needs one of those highway construction signs for the drive thru, expect delays
←Rate | 12-19-2011 02:44 by @tuxxer Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have no respect for people who eat pizza with a fork.
←Rate | 12-19-2011 02:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I call dibs on his armored train for Christmas!
←Rate | 12-19-2011 02:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage.
←Rate | 12-19-2011 02:32 Comments (1)  


   messageicon If you love a balloon, set it free. If it comes back to you, it probably wasn't a balloon
←Rate | 12-19-2011 02:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Wal-Mart! After 8 p.m. Please QUIT PUTTING the SLOWEST,OLDEST people behind the Speedy Check Out!
←Rate | 12-19-2011 01:32 by DJ IGGY Comments (0)  



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