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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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What if oxygen makes our voice really deep, and Helium just brings it back to normal?
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12-05-2011 08:59 by
SuthernFukr
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Sometimes I look at my FB feed and think "If you spent less time b!tching about your life, you might actually enjoy it."
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12-05-2011 08:58
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W.I.F.E - Will Investigate & Find out Everything
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12-05-2011 08:54
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As a comedian, people don't care about you until you speak, then they like you. As a model it's the opposite.
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12-05-2011 08:48 by
Czovczov
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Facebook seriously needs to start asking some people, “Are you SURE you want to post that stupidity?" before it allows them to update their status.
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12-05-2011 08:32 by
KISSTOPHER
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The words "Serious" and "Facebook" DO NOT go hand in hand. Please pack your feelings in a suitcase and travel back to wherever you where before you discovered Facebook.
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12-05-2011 08:29
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Don't ask to use my Phone, and then start going through my photos, contacts, messages and call history, unless you want to meet God before I do.
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12-05-2011 08:16 by
Czovczov
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Buy a ship. Name it relation. Sit in it. You are in a relationship.
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12-05-2011 08:12
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Be the CEO of minding your own business.
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12-05-2011 08:10
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Tiger finished Yesterday with a 69. There has got to be a joke in there somewhere.
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12-05-2011 08:07 by
Vybe
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Ok, who left the bag of idiots open??
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12-05-2011 07:48
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Monday?! But, I wasn't even finished with Saturday yet....
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12-05-2011 07:44
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I know a lot of midget jokes but I am afraid they will come back to bite me in the ass.
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12-05-2011 06:05
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multi-directional urinating and it all landed safely at sea....gonna be a good day!
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12-05-2011 05:10 by
Bob
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Just had sex with a Prostitute who had only one eye. Told her I might see her again. She said shed keep an eye out for me.
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12-05-2011 02:37 by
Reznor
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It's not hard finding someone. What is hard is finding someone worth keeping.
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12-05-2011 00:18
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had his left side removed. He's all right now.
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12-04-2011 23:53 by
@AdEpTxNiNjA
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I like to buy kids loud gifts and laugh at how annoyed their parents are gonna get
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12-04-2011 23:02 by
@BoyGotJokes
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When buying a new flat screen T.V, always remember to put the box in the neighbor's trash can so you don't get robbed.
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12-04-2011 22:52 by
John
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I like my Cheerio's with an obscene amount of sugar....
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12-04-2011 22:29
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