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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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All these years in therapy have finally paid off people... My therapist just recommended I get supervision this festive season. I have always wanted super powers! BEST Christmas present ever...
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12-05-2011 18:13
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this chick 'Beyonce' lost her phone today She said its on silent. I was like, "If you liked it then you shouldve put a ring on it!"
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12-05-2011 18:02 by
fadolo
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Facebook should have a limit on how many times you change ure relationship status, after 3 in a year it should auto-default to "unstable"
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12-05-2011 17:31 by
mark
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FB should just stop asking me whats on my mind and ask "What kinda nonsense do you want to tell everyone this time"
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12-05-2011 16:18 by
@BoyGotJokes
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I killed my twin because he wouldn't admit that he was the evil one.
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12-05-2011 15:47 by
Aaron
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Tim Tebow is staying in the pocket longer than the condom I had in Jr. High
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12-05-2011 15:39 by
Ronnie V.
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Lazy fact #254946156, You were too lazy to read that number
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12-05-2011 15:25 by
doc noland
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Don't mind seeing a nigg@ with a hideous chubber white girl, but hate it when sh'e's hot.
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12-05-2011 14:50 by
Spuds Are Duds
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Dear Obama, It's ok..... No one believes in me anymore either. Sincerely, Santa
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12-05-2011 14:43 by
sully
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Friends don't let friends decorate drunk!
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12-05-2011 14:18 by
jrbirk
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If I say something that offends you, Please let me know so I can say it again later!..
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12-05-2011 14:17 by
QB
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Breaking: Michelle Bachmann calls for immediate release of US Predator drone pilots downed by Iran......
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12-05-2011 13:41 by
sully
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MILFs nowadays are 16 years old.
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12-05-2011 13:40 by
@dj_soltrix
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Me: so doc, if I get this lung surgery, will I be able to do a backflip? Doc: yes, of course. Me: awesome, cuz I could never do that before.
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12-05-2011 13:39 by
Katana
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They say dress for the job you want not the job you have, so today I'm dressed like the Pope.
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12-05-2011 13:18 by
SuthernFukr
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Kid birthday parties should just be called get your child sick gatherings.
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12-05-2011 13:16 by
SuthernFukr
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Herman Cain's career & marriage are a mess & the media mocks him constantly. Only 10 months ago, this was called #Winning.
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12-05-2011 13:15 by
SuthernFukr
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I am on a rowing machine. It's like being on a boat only with less screaming.
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12-05-2011 13:15 by
SuthernFukr
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My wife is leaving me because I believe everything I read on the internet. Not worried though, there are some sexy Russian girls in my area.
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12-05-2011 13:06 by
@clarkysj
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Singing passionately in the shower, pretty good idea. Dancing passionately in the shower, not so much.
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12-05-2011 13:05 by
lauren moro
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