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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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If my girlfriend f*cked liked she whines, I would be the luckiest guy ever.
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12-07-2011 14:25
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if men had periods, would they brag about the size of their tampons?
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12-07-2011 14:17
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Always be true to yourself. But feel free to lie to everyone else as needed.
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12-07-2011 14:15 by
KISSTOPHER
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Anybody that says "I don't know what I did to deserve this" knows exactly what they did to deserve it.
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12-07-2011 14:14
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My relationship is definitely gaining ground. The judge reduced the restraining order from 400 to 100 feet.
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12-07-2011 14:03
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If you ever see Rick Ross running, call the police.
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12-07-2011 13:39
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Patience" is what parents have when there are witnesses
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12-07-2011 13:37 by
SEAN
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You know you are ugly when your profile pic is never you.
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12-07-2011 13:33
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Some guy at work just asked me if I was homosexual. His exact words were "Do you like Twilight?"
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12-07-2011 13:30 by
Czovczov
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Some have so big egos that they probably get off in front of a mirror
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12-07-2011 13:19 by
trond
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When men give women roses they expect Tulips in return.
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12-07-2011 13:05 by
fadolo
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Wanna have some fun? Put a stethoscope around your neck, walk into a hospital waiting room and say "I have very bad news for one of you... I'll be back." Then walk out.
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12-07-2011 12:55 by
Marshall the Great
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1 universe, 9 planets, 204 countries, 809 islands,7 seas, over 6 billion people, and I had the unfortunate luck of meeting you.
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12-07-2011 11:11 by
Ron
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I Typed in search box on Google : "What do woman want?". Google Replied : "We are also searching..."
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12-07-2011 11:09 by
Ron
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Lazy rule; can`t reach it, don`t need it.
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12-07-2011 11:04 by
Ron
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have you humped or got humped yet today?
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12-07-2011 10:56
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Dogs barking to the song Jingle Bells?... Sure why not. You know what, put it on repeat so I have time to tie a noose and find a shaky chair.
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12-07-2011 10:34
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First class mail will soon take a day longer to arrive. Man, 45 cents doesn't buy anything these days!
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12-07-2011 09:38 by
SuthernFukr
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The Wizard of Oz needed another character. Like an alcoholic who needed a liver.
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12-07-2011 09:34 by
SuthernFukr
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If a man's wiener was so huge it gave him back problems, he'd never have surgery. He'd just strap that sucker on a cart & go about his day.
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12-07-2011 09:30 by
SuthernFukr
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