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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Got in a fight once and ended up with a black eye. But you shoulda seen the other guy... Seriously, his form was AMAZING. Like a pro boxer.
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12-07-2011 18:19 by
flinnie
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Why should I waste 5.99 on a bottle of stool softener when I can just do it by hand?
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12-07-2011 18:19 by
Doc Noland
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We know your old when you just list your month and day on fb.
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12-07-2011 17:58 | Tags: Filtered
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Every minute of my life is a countdown to when I'll eat next.
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12-07-2011 17:39 by
SuthernFukr
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If everything goes as planned, by this time next year, I will have had a tremendous amount of work done.
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12-07-2011 17:37 by
SuthernFukr
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Starbucks has the best coffee of any homeless shelter I've ever been to.
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12-07-2011 17:35 by
SuthernFukr
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Texting 'LOL' is probably the most widespread lie of the 21st century.
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12-07-2011 16:17
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Hey adorable couples who constantly profess your love for each other via Facebook, learn how to text.
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12-07-2011 16:15
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Billion dollar idea: bacon flavored weight loss pills.
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12-07-2011 16:14
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That grandma that got run over by a reindeer was lucky she never lived to hear the terrible Christmas song they wrote about her.
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12-07-2011 16:12
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Talk to your grandparents about the dangers of sexting.
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12-07-2011 16:10
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n't it nice that soon Justin Bieber will go through puberty, Twilight will end, & Mr.Potter's gone? Everything's going to be normal again
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12-07-2011 16:05
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Yeah let's clone some sheep cause dinosaurs would be too awesome." - Scientists.
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12-07-2011 16:04
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I'm just like Rebecca Black...it takes me until Friday to decide whether I'm sitting in the front or back seat.
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12-07-2011 15:59
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Rudolph is the only reindeer who doesn't have a stripper name.
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12-07-2011 15:49
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One day I wanna copy someone's status word for word and see if they notice.
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12-07-2011 15:48 by
Fat Alec
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The Discovery Channel is filming a new series about my ex-wife. It is called Deadliest Snatch
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12-07-2011 15:48
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I'm trying not to judge, but your silver front teeth scream "Medi-Cal".
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12-07-2011 15:42 by
Goodeolboy
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"i don't really like blow ups... they just don't do it for me." -overheard in the Christmas inflatables section of Target
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12-07-2011 15:35 by
JaxWylde
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If I could do a back flip you'd know it because that's how I would exit every room.
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12-07-2011 15:29 by
Aaron
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