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I think I need to lose some weight. I tried to sit up earlier and ended up rocking myself to sleep. :(
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12-08-2011 21:57
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***** if you think there should be a "dude I wasnt that drunk" category
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12-08-2011 21:01
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~• ~• ~• ~• •~ © ~• ~• ~• ~• SWIM BACK GUYS!!!! ITS THE BIRTH CONTROL PILL
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12-08-2011 20:52
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Why is that girls in tamp0n commercials dance and laugh? Shouldn't they be revving chainsaws and burn!ng sh!t down?
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12-08-2011 20:42 by
g0re
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The hardcore way to eat ramen: 1) Boil water 2) Eat block of ramen 3) Drink boiled water 4) Snort flavored powder 5) Fu*k B!tches.
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12-08-2011 20:38 by
g0re
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"I'd choose a lazy person to do the hardest job, because they'll surely find an easy way to do it" -Bill Gates proud to be lazy anyone?
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12-08-2011 20:09
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1600's: "Oh Dearest Romeo, I write to inform you I have received your letter and I've been left quite speechless" 2011: " K "
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12-08-2011 19:40 by
g0re
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Your such a slut. The only reason you wear panties is to keep your ankles warm.
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12-08-2011 19:31 by
g0re
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I hate it when I'm digging my own grave at gunpoint and I discover buried treasure.
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12-08-2011 19:15 by
Aaron
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To honor John Lennon's death, Newt Gingrich suggests hiring children from poor neighborhoods to clean Yoko's bathrooms.
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12-08-2011 18:20 by
SuthernFukr
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Someday, anthropologists will look back at these "mirror self-portraits" and refer to this time as the Bathroom Era.
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12-08-2011 18:19 by
SuthernFukr
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If money's tight this holiday season, a handmade card or gift is a lovely way to say, "Here's a present you won't like."
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12-08-2011 18:18 by
SuthernFukr
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Do you realize that a woman's "I'll be ready in five minutes." and a guy's " I'll be home in five minutes." are exactly the same?
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12-08-2011 17:57
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It's so cold out, my nipples got to work 5 minutes before I did. Brrr...
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12-08-2011 16:50 by
bdog987
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I see all these women outside in short skirts. If they don't catch frostbite, they'll definitely catch an STD
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12-08-2011 16:37 by
Yaj
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Serendipity - When an empty glass and a bottle of booze cross paths
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12-08-2011 16:32 by
Doc Noland
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Even ugly babies are still kinda cute.
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12-08-2011 14:39
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Safer to let my kids walk in Compton then let them go to VA Tech!
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12-08-2011 14:29 by
zman87
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Theres no way in hell I'm ever buying my child a Elmo doll...I'm still having nightmares from having one as a child!
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12-08-2011 14:28 by
Seanathon
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The "J" in my neighbors joy sign burned out. A multi-faith family perhaps?
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12-08-2011 14:17
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