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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Finally with today's paycheck, I've saved up enough cash to get the "gold" package on my '93 Sentra.
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12-09-2011 15:54 by
Goodeolboy
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I love it when people I hate get in trouble.
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12-09-2011 15:22
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Single girls give better hugs.
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12-09-2011 15:20
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This chick got a million dollar body with a food stamp face.
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12-09-2011 15:18
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Call it whatever you want... I'm still calling the Hummer H2, "The Douche Bag Container."
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12-09-2011 14:59
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When finding someone to date, drinking compatibility is more important than you think.
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12-09-2011 14:56
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I think there is one thing both genders can agree on, neither one want Justin Bieber in their gender.
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12-09-2011 14:53 by
Reuben
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a hangover is god's way of saying "you kicked a$$ last night"
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12-09-2011 13:53 by
@specialed40
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I guess Jesus was the first kid that got to celebrate Hanukkah and Christmas.
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12-09-2011 13:46 by
SuthernFukr
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Can anyone recommend a few thousand books on hoarding?
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12-09-2011 13:44 by
SuthernFukr
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Remember, it's not officially a holiday family fight until someone shouts 'we're not fighting, we're DISCUSSING!'
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12-09-2011 13:41 by
SuthernFukr
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I think a tampon makes a better vampire than the twilight guy.
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12-09-2011 13:32 by
KISSTOPHER
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If a polar bear could survive on the Sun, I guess it would be a solar bear.
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12-09-2011 13:31
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God created man in his own image. (minus all the cool powers)
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12-09-2011 13:30
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I schedule my appointments for 9:11 so I never forget.
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12-09-2011 13:28
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Tip: Before asking if someone is pregnant, make sure he's a woman.
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12-09-2011 13:27
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I tried to kill a spider with hairspray. It's still alive but it's hair looks FABULOOOUS
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12-09-2011 13:26
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My mother-in-law is a meteorologist. Well, not a meteorologist, but whatever it is called when you complain about the weather 6 times a day.
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12-09-2011 13:25
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Some people carry a yoga mat, which says a lot about them. I carry a placemat, which says a lot about me.
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12-09-2011 13:21
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In the interest of political correctness, the song will be now called, "Rudolph, the Native American-nosed Reindeer".
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12-09-2011 13:17
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