Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon guess I have got to that stage in life where I am either too old for presents or my family has converted to hinduism in my abscense :(
←Rate | 12-24-2011 18:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Any room can be a Panic Room if you run out of alcohol.
←Rate | 12-24-2011 17:30 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you were a ten year-old boy, what would you want most from Bath and Body Works?
←Rate | 12-24-2011 17:29 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Like Johnny Cash, I walk the line. Mine's the one between "total slob" and "extreme hoarder."
←Rate | 12-24-2011 17:28 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate the smell of Walmart when I walk in. It smells like old beer and subway. Merry Christmas everyone!
←Rate | 12-24-2011 16:55 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon true friends tell you when you have a boogie chillin
←Rate | 12-24-2011 16:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "I'm not like most girls." ~ Most girls
←Rate | 12-24-2011 16:36 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just found a calendar in the kitchen, it ends in eight days. Were all doomed.
←Rate | 12-24-2011 16:09 by just me Comments (0)  


   messageicon There are times when strangers are like family, and family are like strangers.
←Rate | 12-24-2011 15:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Freudian slip; Where you say one thing, but mean your mother.
←Rate | 12-24-2011 14:23 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Santa, I'm writing to let you know that I've been naughty... and it was worth it. You fat, judgmental b@stard.
←Rate | 12-24-2011 14:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today on Maury! Joseph was engaged to Mary, then learned she's pregnant! You won't BELIEVE who she says the Baby Daddy is! Tune in for results.
←Rate | 12-24-2011 14:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.
←Rate | 12-24-2011 13:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Well Santa has started his Journey and is now in Australia. I hope he is careful over Iran. Last thing we need is to have him shot down and used as the latest Iranian Spy drone..
←Rate | 12-24-2011 13:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon wrapping my girlfriends present, but I tell ya I'm not comfortable with tape near my puibs...
←Rate | 12-24-2011 13:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can tell whether or not your relationship is going to last by simply watching her eat a Popsicle.
←Rate | 12-24-2011 13:38 by fadolo Comments (0)  


   messageicon How did I end up on the naughty list? I sold my soul to Santa as a kid for better toys. Too bad I'm dyslexic.
←Rate | 12-24-2011 13:03 by Cyndi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ohhh, you wanted an iPad? I thought you said pet rock, dang
←Rate | 12-24-2011 12:40 by @BoyGotJokes Comments (0)  


   messageicon There are no rules for Holiday Family Fight Club, just a series of passive-aggressive statements.
←Rate | 12-24-2011 12:31 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Since going green, Santa has stopped using coal and now fills the stockings of kids on the naughty list with windmills.
←Rate | 12-24-2011 12:31 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  



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