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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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I think my best friends and I abuse each other more than the people we actually hate.
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12-14-2011 06:25
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I am not allowed to talk to strange punctuations
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12-14-2011 05:28
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Maybe women wear a watch because they dont carry a stove with them everywhere they go you sexist b@stard.
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12-14-2011 05:15
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Cops: “Please step out of the car” Me: “I can't. I'm drunk. You get in.
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12-14-2011 02:14
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There's a special place in Hell reserved for people who use hashtags on their Facebook statuses.
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12-14-2011 02:13 | Tags: Filtered
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I don't understand why women wear watches when there's a perfectly good clock on the stove.
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12-14-2011 02:12
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I just signed up for a well known diet plan. So far, all I've lost is $200
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12-14-2011 02:03
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It would be impossible to throw Jesus a surprise birthday party.
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12-14-2011 02:01 by
KISSTOPHER
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I like to walk around the house naked. Until the neighbours chase me back inside.
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12-14-2011 01:59
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Someone has got to come up with a polite way to ask a fat girl if she's pregnant.
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12-14-2011 01:59
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you know a friend notices & cares when their worried I wasnt on facebook much today
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12-14-2011 01:59 by
Eddy
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Our argument would be more impressive if either one of us knew what we're talking about.
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12-14-2011 01:58
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If an old man stuffs you in a bag don't worry, I asked for you for Christmas. Oh he threw you in a van, not a sleigh? Yeah, you're screwed.
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12-14-2011 01:49 by
g0re
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an OK meal...spaghetti O's & Special K
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12-14-2011 01:47 by
Eddy
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has anybody else notice that girls go into stalk mode when they like a guy?
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12-14-2011 01:42
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You were so beautiful, until your 30 day trial of Photoshop ended.
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12-14-2011 01:41 by
g0re
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The walk of shame at the store when you have to put something back because you cant afford it.
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12-14-2011 01:39
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You aren't crazy, you're just lonely, and loneliness is one hell of a drug.
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12-14-2011 01:37
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I'd imagine that hitting the showers had a whole new meaning for the Penn State football team.
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12-14-2011 01:32
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The less people you chill with, the less drama you deal with.
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12-14-2011 01:31 by
Czovczov
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