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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Have to go to the doctor to get my blood pressure medication. Not that I need it. I'm a drug dealer to the 50+ crowd
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12-15-2011 11:00 by
Mcslapnuts
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Found out my american indian name is "running sqiurrel touching it twice"
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12-15-2011 10:54 by
Mcslapnuts
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Has a strict tag and release policy with cougars
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12-15-2011 10:49
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You realize 300 pages of this crap has been written since thanksgiving.
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12-15-2011 10:43
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just let me get 1 thing straight---------------~ DARN! so close.
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12-15-2011 10:42
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My wife is taking my kids to go see the nut cracker this weekend. Of course I'm talking about my mother in law not the show.
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12-15-2011 10:29 by
eaglet1122
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Close mindedness is the most abject form of blindness.
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12-15-2011 10:19 by
Mick F
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Can you imagine how scary the Wendy William's Pushing Out a Baby Face looks?
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12-15-2011 10:06
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"I wasn't that Drunk" "Dude, you told me to give you a ride home... when the party was at your house."
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12-15-2011 09:56
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Why do women even try to talk about football? Do you see guys in the kitchen discussing dishwashing strategies?
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12-15-2011 09:48 by
BAD GUY
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You CAN'T tell me that "Wendy Williams" Has Never, Wrestled For WWF.
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12-15-2011 09:45
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The lady walking ahead of me sped up so I did, she began running so I did, she screamed so I did. I never even saw what we were running from.
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12-15-2011 09:42 by
SuthernFukr
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Welcome to ATLANTA where we have three different sexes: Male, Female and Wendy Williams.
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12-15-2011 09:42
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I don't have mistletoe this year, so we'll just have to kiss under the influence.
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12-15-2011 09:42 by
SuthernFukr
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Practicing random acts of kindness at the mall. Like holding doors open. Then tripping anyone who doesn't thank me.
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12-15-2011 09:41 by
SuthernFukr
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If you ever feel sad remember that there's a number you can call and a pizza will be there in 30 minutes.
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12-15-2011 09:41 by
SuthernFukr
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Just replace the Star of David with a UFO, and now this nativity scene depicts the birth of Suri Cruise!
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12-15-2011 09:30 by
SuthernFukr
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That scene in Boogie Nights when Julianne Moore says "C*m on my t!ts, if you can, OK?" epitomizes what the holidays are like with my family.
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12-15-2011 09:28 by
SuthernFukr
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America's favorite neighbor isn't Applebee's. It's the neighbor I just met whose garage door code is the same as his ATM Pin (3-5-9-8).
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12-15-2011 09:26 by
SuthernFukr
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When I watch TV alone, my thumb is like a park bench for my nuts.
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12-15-2011 09:25 by
SuthernFukr
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