Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon One good thing about Alzheimer's is you meet new people every day.
←Rate | 01-02-2012 13:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear recent college graduates, We like to play hard-to-get. Sincerely, jobs.
←Rate | 01-02-2012 13:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Once, in 1998, I read a website's terms and conditions page.
←Rate | 01-02-2012 13:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hope Keith Richards isn't an organ donor.
←Rate | 01-02-2012 13:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Unlike 'the others', I have 27 cats for normal reasons.
←Rate | 01-02-2012 13:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon No matter what age a man is, there is something about cleavage that is just hypnotic.
←Rate | 01-02-2012 13:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bet crocodiles are pissed off that "crocs" no longer stands for "gigantic vicious reptiles," but now means "gay shoe."
←Rate | 01-02-2012 12:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon iPhone > Android > Nokia > Land phone > Typewriter > 2 cans and a string > Message in a bottle > Pigeon with a note tap > Blackberry
←Rate | 01-02-2012 12:28 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Women are cool until they start loving you. That's when all the drama starts.
←Rate | 01-02-2012 12:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everybody talks about my drinking but nobody talks about my thirst!
←Rate | 01-02-2012 11:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon CLEAN YOUR!̸̶͚͖͖̩̻̩̗͍̮̙̈͊͛̈͒̍̐ͣͩ̋ͨ̓̊̌̈̊́̚͝͠ͅ ̷̧̢̛͖̤̟̺̫̗͚̗͖ͪ̏̔̔̒́ͥ̓ͫ̀ͤ̇ͥ͝ ̡̊͛̇ ͫ̉ͦ̊̀̔ͧͮ͆̽ͦͩ͋̌͗̚̚҉̵͖̟ SCREEN :P
←Rate | 01-02-2012 10:41 by Haren Thadhani Comments (0)  


   messageicon My mind likes to mess with me just before sleeping. Last night I wondered what if dolls contained lost souls. Sitting there, watching, waiting, thinking....Dolls
←Rate | 01-02-2012 10:20 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon (╮°-°)╮┳━┳ " make me a Sandwich!" .. Girlfriend : ( -.-) "HELL NO!" ... (╯°□°)╯ ┻━┻ "THE HELL YOU SAY?!?"
←Rate | 01-02-2012 10:06 by fadolo Comments (0)  


   messageicon You have the right to remain stupid anything you say or do can and will be ignored.
←Rate | 01-02-2012 09:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm tired of chasing my dreams...gonna jus ask them where they're going and meet them there later.
←Rate | 01-02-2012 09:40 by bijoux Comments (0)  


   messageicon Aahhh, 2012 is here. This year, I will try to look on the bright side of things, to see the positive in all situations, to see my RED SOLO CUP half full :)
←Rate | 01-02-2012 09:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Beer before liquor, never sicker. Toothpaste before orange juice, dead.
←Rate | 01-02-2012 08:57 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm trying to go back to my original shape. 7 lbs. 9oz..
←Rate | 01-02-2012 06:23 by Derfmeister Comments (0)  


   messageicon NICE GILL MORGAN... WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT.
←Rate | 01-02-2012 01:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tonight I have a date with my Ego.
←Rate | 01-02-2012 01:52 Comments (0)  



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