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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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I'm never going to marry a woman unless I'd be proud to have a daughter exactly like her.
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01-04-2012 00:52
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Have you ever seen a girl so ugly you kept expecting "In The Arms Of The Angels" to start playing?
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01-03-2012 23:46
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Ladies stop wearing them pajama pants and them dirty Uggs!!
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01-03-2012 22:26 by
L
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Got up to watch the sunrise this morning. Orange. Real original nature, thanks for wasting my time.
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01-03-2012 21:54 by
Aaron
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51 weeks til Christmas....lights are up!
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01-03-2012 21:33
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Shoutout to the girls that got that good rooster neck
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01-03-2012 21:27 by
fadolo
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more technology= Less Jobs.........Simple
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01-03-2012 21:07
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The bipolar emoticon —> :):
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01-03-2012 20:30 by
@OMFG_Rel8able
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i don't know much about politics...but what's with this ohio cactus thing?
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01-03-2012 20:12 by
glt23
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I once skeeted in the back seat of an 18 wheeler.......... That 18 wheeler is now known today as........ OPTIMUS PRIME
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01-03-2012 20:12
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Don't you just hate it when 9 year olds have a better phone than you.. it's like, who are you gonna call?! Barney? ..Elmo?.. DORA?!?
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01-03-2012 19:58
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Everyday I'm shoveling!
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01-03-2012 19:53 by
Jeff
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I'm a lazy ass texter, unless you're cute, or I like you.
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01-03-2012 19:51 by
@OMFG_Rel8able
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oh!!!!! sorryy my smoking is bothering you ?? shut the hell up it's killing me !!!
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01-03-2012 19:34
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Aretha Franklin, 69, is engaged. And she's not pregnant!
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01-03-2012 19:17
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Some people just need a hug... Around the neck. With my hands.
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01-03-2012 19:11 by
Daheavy1
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I can't believe they let people own guns. Public toilets are all the proof we need that humans have horrible aim.
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01-03-2012 19:09 by
Daheavy1
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One time I smashed my face into a keyboard and accidentally wrote the fifth Twilight book.
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01-03-2012 19:08 by
Daheavy1
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My heart just skipped a beat when I glanced at my wife across the room. Mostly because she was holding my phone
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01-03-2012 19:07 by
Daheavy1
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45 days and counting until I start a new count down
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01-03-2012 18:33
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