Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   (╮°-°)╮┳━┳ " make me a Sandwich!" .. Girlfriend : ( -.-) "HELL NO!" ... (╯°□°)╯ ┻━┻ "THE HELL YOU SAY?!?"

   You have the right to remain stupid anything you say or do can and will be ignored.

   I'm tired of chasing my dreams...gonna jus ask them where they're going and meet them there later.

   Aahhh, 2012 is here. This year, I will try to look on the bright side of things, to see the positive in all situations, to see my RED SOLO CUP half full :)

   Beer before liquor, never sicker. Toothpaste before orange juice, dead.

   I'm trying to go back to my original shape. 7 lbs. 9oz..

   NICE GILL MORGAN... WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT.

   Tonight I have a date with my Ego.

   Welcome 2012 !! We hope that you do to us what 2011 did to Mobile Phones - Made them Thinner and Smarter !!

   If you like your own status, you should take your own hand and punch you in your face.

   The way I see it is that life is divided up into three stages, and you only have to wipe your @$$ for one of them. Isn't life incredible!?

   Can't wait 'til I'm elderly so I can wear band-aids on my face without shame or explanation.

   Everything seems louder when you're trying not to wake your parents

   In 2013, my first status will be- "Is anyone alive?!

   H.O.E.S = HAPPILY OFFERING EVERYONE SEX.

   Just because I'm giving up , doesn't mean I don't care. It means I'm tired of giving my everything & ending up with nothing.

   From now on I will only use blue SOLO cups,because of that STUPID STUPID song.

   A sure sign that drugs fu<k you up is that Russel Brand just filed for divorce from Katy Perry...WHAT,an idiot!

   I'm not proud of this, but I haven't showered since last year...

   Last night I jerked off so good that when I woke up my D!ck was in the kitchen making breakfast