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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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I am sorry I didn't recognize you back there. The last time I saw you, you had only one chin.
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12-19-2011 02:54
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Funny new trend at the office. People putting names on food in the company fridge. Today I had a tuna sandwich named Bob.
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12-19-2011 02:53
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Liquor stores are open 24/7 when you have a brick.
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12-19-2011 02:51
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If you're not into casual sex, I can put on a bow tie and we'll call it formal sex.
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12-19-2011 02:48 by
KISSTOPHER
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If you can't take a joke, don't walk around looking like one.
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12-19-2011 02:46 by
Czovczov
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The only thing preventing me from smashing my alarm clock against the wall in the morning is the fact that it's also my cellphone.
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12-19-2011 02:46 by
Czovczov
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Tim Hortons needs one of those highway construction signs for the drive thru, expect delays
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12-19-2011 02:44 by
@tuxxer
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I have no respect for people who eat pizza with a fork.
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12-19-2011 02:44
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I call dibs on his armored train for Christmas!
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12-19-2011 02:33
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Sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage.
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12-19-2011 02:32
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If you love a balloon, set it free. If it comes back to you, it probably wasn't a balloon
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12-19-2011 02:22
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Dear Wal-Mart! After 8 p.m. Please QUIT PUTTING the SLOWEST,OLDEST people behind the Speedy Check Out!
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12-19-2011 01:32 by
DJ IGGY
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It's shame Kim Jong I'll never got to start his rap career, in which his stage name would have been 'K.Jong Da Illest'
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12-19-2011 01:18
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You are my GOOGLE. You have everything I am searching for.
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12-19-2011 00:40
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RIP Kim Jong-il. I loved you on Community and those Hangover movies.
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12-19-2011 00:36
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Studying for a class sucks, but, not nearly as hard as failing that class
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12-19-2011 00:33 by
@OMG_Rel8able
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Doing nothing all day feels great, realizing you did nothing all day, not so great.
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12-19-2011 00:08 by
@OMG_Rel8able
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Sad to see Kim Jong died....he was so good in 16 candle. RIP Long Duk Dong
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12-19-2011 00:04
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Damn! Ghadafi, now Kim Jong, I think Sunglass Hut is in real troubleĀ
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12-19-2011 00:02 by
hoosiergatorfan
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uncertain of what the etiquette is here, I got Kim Jong Il's name in Secret Santa.
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12-19-2011 00:00 by
hoosiergatorfan
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