Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon you might think it's funny, but it's snot
←Rate | 01-06-2012 15:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon when I answered the door, the pizza delivery guy was naked. WT?
←Rate | 01-06-2012 15:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon To all d jerks & dbags, y'all are like clouds. When y'all disappear, it's a brighter day.
←Rate | 01-06-2012 15:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My niece just made an "L" on her forehead with her thumb and index finger and directed it toward me. She has obviously invented a new word..."LAWESOME!"
←Rate | 01-06-2012 14:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife said she was going to leave me so I chopped off her legs ..then she came crawling back..!!
←Rate | 01-06-2012 14:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do people showoff by posting pics of the expensive and fancy alcohol they are drinking when at the end of the day we all get drunk just the same?
←Rate | 01-06-2012 14:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate when people post lyrics from songs, but I will survive.
←Rate | 01-06-2012 14:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Treating a women is like tea time... You just let the pinky do what it wants.
←Rate | 01-06-2012 13:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're fat and you are sitting down, there's a 100% chance your crack is showing.
←Rate | 01-06-2012 13:12 by fadolo Comments (0)  


   messageicon My head says, "go to the gym." But my heart says, "stay on the internet forever and eat!"
←Rate | 01-06-2012 13:09 by fadolo Comments (0)  


   messageicon According to the Mayans, the world is supposed to end in the year 2012. Are you buying that? When's the last time you even ran into a Mayan?
←Rate | 01-06-2012 12:11 by mark Comments (0)  


   messageicon The guy next door won't stop revving his bike so I'm going to spray paint his Harley pink and attach a white basket to it while he's asleep.
←Rate | 01-06-2012 12:03 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wanna hear a clean joke? Johnny was taking a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles was a man.
←Rate | 01-06-2012 11:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Being popular on Facebook is like sitting at the cool table in the cafeteria at a mental hospital!"
←Rate | 01-06-2012 10:32 by lola Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why is there a show called "When animals attack"? It should be called "When stupid people go near dangerous animals."
←Rate | 01-06-2012 10:30 by SSS Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do people freak out about dolphins getting caugh in tuna nets? What about the tuna?
←Rate | 01-06-2012 10:18 by lawdawg Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's the difference between a bagel and a $lutty fat chick? One's a roll with a hole. The other is a hole with a roll.
←Rate | 01-06-2012 09:32 by Delores Disenchanted Comments (0)  


   messageicon To all those who DO include the year of your birthdate on Facebook... we know you're young... and stupid... and about to be the next victim of identity theft!
←Rate | 01-06-2012 09:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Things you despised in your boyfriend or girlfriend while you are dating get magnified 10 times when you get married.
←Rate | 01-06-2012 08:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The worst part about makeup sex is trying to get the mascara off of my balls.
←Rate | 01-06-2012 08:28 by Sparticuss Comments (0)  



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