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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Any woman who says, 'I can have any man I want' is lying, has no standards and no man wants her ass.
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01-06-2012 15:36
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I hate situations where I have to acknowledge the people I had been successfully ignoring.
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01-06-2012 15:33 by
Czovczov
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Screw a designated driver. I need a designated liver.
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01-06-2012 15:32 by
KISSTOPHER
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Jehovah's witnesses would probably be welcomed into more houses if they brought booze or cookies.
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01-06-2012 15:27
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The DOT sent me the wrong personalized plates. They say ASSMAN
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01-06-2012 15:11 by
lawdawg
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you might think it's funny, but it's snot
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01-06-2012 15:05
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when I answered the door, the pizza delivery guy was naked. WT?
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01-06-2012 15:03
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To all d jerks & dbags, y'all are like clouds. When y'all disappear, it's a brighter day.
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01-06-2012 15:02
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My niece just made an "L" on her forehead with her thumb and index finger and directed it toward me. She has obviously invented a new word..."LAWESOME!"
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01-06-2012 14:55
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My wife said she was going to leave me so I chopped off her legs ..then she came crawling back..!!
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01-06-2012 14:24
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Why do people showoff by posting pics of the expensive and fancy alcohol they are drinking when at the end of the day we all get drunk just the same?
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01-06-2012 14:23
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I hate when people post lyrics from songs, but I will survive.
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01-06-2012 14:22
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Treating a women is like tea time... You just let the pinky do what it wants.
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01-06-2012 13:48
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If you're fat and you are sitting down, there's a 100% chance your crack is showing.
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01-06-2012 13:12 by
fadolo
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My head says, "go to the gym." But my heart says, "stay on the internet forever and eat!"
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01-06-2012 13:09 by
fadolo
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According to the Mayans, the world is supposed to end in the year 2012. Are you buying that? When's the last time you even ran into a Mayan?
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01-06-2012 12:11 by
mark
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The guy next door won't stop revving his bike so I'm going to spray paint his Harley pink and attach a white basket to it while he's asleep.
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01-06-2012 12:03 by
SuthernFukr
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Wanna hear a clean joke? Johnny was taking a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles was a man.
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01-06-2012 11:12
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"Being popular on Facebook is like sitting at the cool table in the cafeteria at a mental hospital!"
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01-06-2012 10:32 by
lola
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Why is there a show called "When animals attack"? It should be called "When stupid people go near dangerous animals."
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01-06-2012 10:30 by
SSS
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