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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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My belt is too tight on the last notch but to loose on the next one..FML
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12-21-2011 22:58 by
@OMG_Rel8able
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Life is to short to remove USB safely!!!!!!
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12-21-2011 22:55 by
@OMG_Rel8able
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Why aren't mustaches called mouth brows?
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12-21-2011 22:46 by
@OMG_Rel8able
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childrens shows should really take into consideration that some kids may not have two eyes two ears and so on befote they sing about it.
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12-21-2011 22:39
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saw the new George Foreman grill in the store last night and the box says it can reduce fat by 42%. It's a lie...I leaned against the box and nothing happened!
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12-21-2011 22:20 by
theycallme411
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No, I'm not single. I am in a long distance relationship because my girlfriend lives in the future.
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12-21-2011 21:45 by
BEGO
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White Kid: For Christmas I got 500 dollars, a PS3, and an X Box 360/
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12-21-2011 21:42
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I ripped a bunch of pubes out on the bus today. It hurt like hell! especially when the chick who I did it to woke up and punched me. :(
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12-21-2011 21:21
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Giving your friend “the look” when you see someone attractive.
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12-21-2011 21:17 by
BEGO
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Dear guy that invented the metal wires, screws and clips that hold kids toys to the cardboard packaging with a death grip: I HOPE YOU DIE.
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12-21-2011 21:08 by
fadolo
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Call me delta airlines, cause I cant handle your extra baggage
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12-21-2011 21:05
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Someone needs their vote privilege taken away!!
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12-21-2011 21:04
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Facebook may say that we are friends, but I wouldn't hesitate to punch you in the face!
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12-21-2011 20:53 by
fadolo
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Wife: "I lost 5 pounds this month" Me: "I lose 5 pounds when a take a dump" Wife: Maybe you should take more dumps
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12-21-2011 20:51 by
Mr Craig
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I'm opening a new restaurant to compete with TGI Fridays called Sucky Tuesdays.
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12-21-2011 20:49 by
SuthernFukr
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Never trust a brain surgeon who keeps saying 'Cool Beans!'
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12-21-2011 20:49 by
SuthernFukr
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Every time someone tells me Happy Holidays, I just want to deck their halls....with a roundhouse kick to the face.....
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12-21-2011 20:31
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At the rate I am coughing, I expect a "Six Pack" or an "Brain Aneurysm" buy the end of the week!
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12-21-2011 20:29 by
eaglet1122
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Cute girls going from "single" to "in a relationship"...WHEN WILL THIS EPIDEMIC END!
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12-21-2011 20:09
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Christmas and booze they both have a lot to do with SPIRIT!
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12-21-2011 19:59
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