Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon I hate winter because I can't sniff bike seats.
←Rate | 01-06-2012 17:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I pulled into Dunkin Doughnuts drive thru and a women appeared at the window and asked, "may I take your order". Jedi Master am I.
←Rate | 01-06-2012 17:05 by chief791 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pizza Rolls are just Hot Pockets for midgets.
←Rate | 01-06-2012 16:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Im glad the inspirational photo quotes make you feel like a better person, but seriously do you have to overload my wall with them??
←Rate | 01-06-2012 16:29 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon A chick who ask 4 nothin will get Everything.. A chick who ask for Everything will get NOTHIN!! #Attitude-IS-everything -
←Rate | 01-06-2012 16:02 by Jaclyn Erin Comments (0)  


   messageicon The problem with working from home is the absence of sexual harassment.
←Rate | 01-06-2012 15:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If there is enough room to spell 'bootylicious' on the back of your shorts...it probably isn't
←Rate | 01-06-2012 15:50 by lawdawg Comments (0)  


   messageicon Damn, I was way off. Turns out Alien vs Predator isn't about an illegal immigrant fighting a child molester.
←Rate | 01-06-2012 15:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Looking for a book club where you have to discuss the same one every week? Try organized religion!
←Rate | 01-06-2012 15:42 by SKELLY | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon Any woman who says, 'I can have any man I want' is lying, has no standards and no man wants her ass.
←Rate | 01-06-2012 15:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate situations where I have to acknowledge the people I had been successfully ignoring.
←Rate | 01-06-2012 15:33 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Screw a designated driver. I need a designated liver.
←Rate | 01-06-2012 15:32 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon Jehovah's witnesses would probably be welcomed into more houses if they brought booze or cookies.
←Rate | 01-06-2012 15:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The DOT sent me the wrong personalized plates. They say ASSMAN
←Rate | 01-06-2012 15:11 by lawdawg Comments (0)  


   messageicon you might think it's funny, but it's snot
←Rate | 01-06-2012 15:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon when I answered the door, the pizza delivery guy was naked. WT?
←Rate | 01-06-2012 15:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon To all d jerks & dbags, y'all are like clouds. When y'all disappear, it's a brighter day.
←Rate | 01-06-2012 15:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My niece just made an "L" on her forehead with her thumb and index finger and directed it toward me. She has obviously invented a new word..."LAWESOME!"
←Rate | 01-06-2012 14:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife said she was going to leave me so I chopped off her legs ..then she came crawling back..!!
←Rate | 01-06-2012 14:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do people showoff by posting pics of the expensive and fancy alcohol they are drinking when at the end of the day we all get drunk just the same?
←Rate | 01-06-2012 14:23 Comments (0)  



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