Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Why is driving so hard for some people? I mean, its like coloring! All you do is stay between the f*cking lines!
←Rate | 01-06-2012 21:14 by Seanathon Comments (0)  


   messageicon bThe awkard moment when the only thing you know on your test is your name.
←Rate | 01-06-2012 21:09 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Toy Story must have been written by a woman. Who else would name their toys Woody and Buzz!!
←Rate | 01-06-2012 20:20 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like enlarged buttocks and I cannot stop myself from telling the truth.
←Rate | 01-06-2012 19:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everyone is gifted. But not everyone opens their present.
←Rate | 01-06-2012 19:04 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Guys with great penmanship probably jack-off to other men with that fancy writing hand of theirs.
←Rate | 01-06-2012 18:23 by fadolo Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hold on, I'm trying to give a f!ck
←Rate | 01-06-2012 18:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate winter because I can't sniff bike seats.
←Rate | 01-06-2012 17:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I pulled into Dunkin Doughnuts drive thru and a women appeared at the window and asked, "may I take your order". Jedi Master am I.
←Rate | 01-06-2012 17:05 by chief791 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pizza Rolls are just Hot Pockets for midgets.
←Rate | 01-06-2012 16:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Im glad the inspirational photo quotes make you feel like a better person, but seriously do you have to overload my wall with them??
←Rate | 01-06-2012 16:29 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon A chick who ask 4 nothin will get Everything.. A chick who ask for Everything will get NOTHIN!! #Attitude-IS-everything -
←Rate | 01-06-2012 16:02 by Jaclyn Erin Comments (0)  


   messageicon The problem with working from home is the absence of sexual harassment.
←Rate | 01-06-2012 15:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If there is enough room to spell 'bootylicious' on the back of your shorts...it probably isn't
←Rate | 01-06-2012 15:50 by lawdawg Comments (0)  


   messageicon Damn, I was way off. Turns out Alien vs Predator isn't about an illegal immigrant fighting a child molester.
←Rate | 01-06-2012 15:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Looking for a book club where you have to discuss the same one every week? Try organized religion!
←Rate | 01-06-2012 15:42 by SKELLY | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon Any woman who says, 'I can have any man I want' is lying, has no standards and no man wants her ass.
←Rate | 01-06-2012 15:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate situations where I have to acknowledge the people I had been successfully ignoring.
←Rate | 01-06-2012 15:33 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Screw a designated driver. I need a designated liver.
←Rate | 01-06-2012 15:32 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon Jehovah's witnesses would probably be welcomed into more houses if they brought booze or cookies.
←Rate | 01-06-2012 15:27 Comments (0)  



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