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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Those who say they "I slept like a baby" obviously have never had one.
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12-22-2011 07:59
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Our lives are defined by opportunities, even the ones we miss.
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12-22-2011 07:36 by
L
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I disliked the Mexican one simply because you put hafta
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12-22-2011 07:34 by
Will
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What did the little black kid get for Christmas? My bike :(
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12-22-2011 07:06 by
Brafty Crastard
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Why is a Mexican like a cue ball? You hafta hit 'em both with a stick to get a little English out of them.
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12-22-2011 06:58 by
Beverly Hills Brian
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I am convinced majority of women only wear high-heels to work so they don't have to help move stuff.
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12-22-2011 06:50
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Officer, I promise this weed is prescription, it's for my pathological lying!!
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12-22-2011 06:48 by
Czovczov
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The best person for a job is generally the one that understands it enough to not want it.
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12-22-2011 06:46
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If it weren't for texting driving would be so boring!
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12-22-2011 06:44
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I'd appreciate it if the phone company just delivered the phone books straight to my recycle bin.
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12-22-2011 06:40
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TIP FOR GUYS: If you have a girl coming over to watch a movie, make sure to pick a movie that's not worth watching. If you know what I mean!
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12-22-2011 06:35 by
Czovczov
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Do strippers have nightmares about going to work fully clothed?
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12-22-2011 06:32 by
Baddie
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Everyone knows someone that can't take the hint when you're trying to end a conversation with them.
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12-22-2011 06:32
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I like my politicians like I like my coffee. I don't like coffee.
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12-22-2011 06:29
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Ladies: Don't keep him guessing for too long or he will find the answer somewhere else.
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12-22-2011 06:23
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The only thing worse about sneezing while going down stairs with a cup of coffee is now you got to go back up and fill er up again...
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12-22-2011 06:09 by
Steve OH
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I'm sorry madam, but your clothes have to go...but you can stay.
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12-22-2011 05:59
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I wish I could select all of your clothes and press Delete.
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12-22-2011 05:57
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How come I always get the fortune cookie that likes to be a smart-ass?
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12-22-2011 02:20 by
totalpackage
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ha here I thought LMS meant lick my sucker
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12-22-2011 00:18
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