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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Why is driving so hard for some people? I mean, its like coloring! All you do is stay between the f*cking lines!
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01-06-2012 21:14 by
Seanathon
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bThe awkard moment when the only thing you know on your test is your name.
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01-06-2012 21:09 by
g0re
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Toy Story must have been written by a woman. Who else would name their toys Woody and Buzz!!
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01-06-2012 20:20 by
CJ
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I like enlarged buttocks and I cannot stop myself from telling the truth.
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01-06-2012 19:13
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Everyone is gifted. But not everyone opens their present.
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01-06-2012 19:04 by
Aaron
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Guys with great penmanship probably jack-off to other men with that fancy writing hand of theirs.
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01-06-2012 18:23 by
fadolo
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Hold on, I'm trying to give a f!ck
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01-06-2012 18:17
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I hate winter because I can't sniff bike seats.
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01-06-2012 17:56
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I pulled into Dunkin Doughnuts drive thru and a women appeared at the window and asked, "may I take your order". Jedi Master am I.
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01-06-2012 17:05 by
chief791
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Pizza Rolls are just Hot Pockets for midgets.
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01-06-2012 16:44
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Im glad the inspirational photo quotes make you feel like a better person, but seriously do you have to overload my wall with them??
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01-06-2012 16:29 | Tags: Filtered
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A chick who ask 4 nothin will get Everything.. A chick who ask for Everything will get NOTHIN!! #Attitude-IS-everything -
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01-06-2012 16:02 by
Jaclyn Erin
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The problem with working from home is the absence of sexual harassment.
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01-06-2012 15:51
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If there is enough room to spell 'bootylicious' on the back of your shorts...it probably isn't
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01-06-2012 15:50 by
lawdawg
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Damn, I was way off. Turns out Alien vs Predator isn't about an illegal immigrant fighting a child molester.
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01-06-2012 15:49
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Looking for a book club where you have to discuss the same one every week? Try organized religion!
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01-06-2012 15:42 by
SKELLY
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Any woman who says, 'I can have any man I want' is lying, has no standards and no man wants her ass.
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01-06-2012 15:36
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I hate situations where I have to acknowledge the people I had been successfully ignoring.
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01-06-2012 15:33 by
Czovczov
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Screw a designated driver. I need a designated liver.
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01-06-2012 15:32 by
KISSTOPHER
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Jehovah's witnesses would probably be welcomed into more houses if they brought booze or cookies.
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01-06-2012 15:27
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