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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Things are getting serious with my boyfriend: He is about to introduce me to his wife! #ThatsWhatSheSaid
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01-08-2012 22:57
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I hate when men stare at me. It's like, can't a girl use the urinal in peace?
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01-08-2012 22:56
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Imagine if there was drinking game called Tim Tebow and you take a shot everytime you hear his name, I believe half of facebook would be hammered.
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01-08-2012 22:09
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that awkard moment when your trapped in the corner of your shower because the cold water came out
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01-08-2012 21:41 by
g0re
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Part of me says "I can wear my sunglasses at night"...But the other part says "Fool you know you clumsy enough in the daytime"...
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01-08-2012 21:41 by
bryan j brown
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who else pretends someone you like is randomly watchin u, so that you do whatever you were doing 10x better?
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01-08-2012 21:37 by
g0re
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To do list: go to a bank wearing a ski mask. complete a normal transaction. leave as if nothing happened.
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01-08-2012 21:27 by
g0re
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you know your hungry when your stomach sounds like chewbacca with a ballpoint pen up his a$$
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01-08-2012 21:26 by
g0re
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Jesus: "Spare the lives of the over 30,000 children due to die from starvation today or help Tebow log a symbolic 316 yards against the Steelers? Hmmm..."
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01-08-2012 21:08 by
Hot Tea
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Guys, the only thing that beats playing with your kids is playing with the box they came in...
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01-08-2012 21:06 by
Migasjoe
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Myth Confirmed! It's better to be a virgin over a rapist! TEBOW!
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01-08-2012 20:58 by
Rp3
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UK 1984 - "Feed the World". USA 1985 - "We are the World". And they wonder why they're so f**king fat.
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01-08-2012 20:41
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And the defense of the sinners shall part like the red sea when he, the chosen one, drives his team to victory. Book Of Tebow 3:25
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01-08-2012 20:30 by
migasjoe
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Oh so now I'm invisible to you? That's cool. I've always wanted a superpower.
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01-08-2012 20:25 by
@OMFG_Rel8able
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the state of Colorado has just converted it's time zone from Mountain time to .....TEBOW TIME!!!
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01-08-2012 20:22 by
migasjoe
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Greatest fear in life…. Someone will find a way to retrieve everything I've ever googled.
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01-08-2012 20:17 by
@OMFG_Rel8able
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Approximately 80% of my regrets involve hitting “send”
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01-08-2012 20:16 by
@OMFG_Rel8able
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When FB stalking someone & I find out their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!
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01-08-2012 20:15 by
@OMFG_Rel8able
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My New Year's resolution is to lose just enough weight so that my gut doesn't jiggle while I brush my teeth...
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01-08-2012 19:39 by
@beaubridwell
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Good friends will bail you out of jail. Best friends will be sitting in the cell with you, laughing about how awesome that just was.
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01-08-2012 19:04
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