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Page: 4017 of 5577
C)-hrist gave H)-imself as a R)-eward so that I)-ndividuals know the S)-acrifices T)-hat he made for M)-ankind to A)-chieve the gift of S)-alvation.”
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12-26-2011 12:08 by
fadolo
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If her p*ssy tastes like vinegar, she wasn't expecting you to get this far.”
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12-26-2011 12:06 by
fadolo
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Lot of men don't realize the true worth of their wives.........until a judge decides the alimony amount
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12-26-2011 12:00
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The Day After Christmas Diet: Breakfast: Leftover lasagne Lunch: Leftover lasagne Dinner: Leftover lasagne Dessert: Leftover lasagne Beverage: Pureed leftover lasagne
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12-26-2011 11:42 by
Ah Fanabla
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When my 2-year-old announces that she used the potty, everyone's so proud. I seem to get the completely opposite reaction.
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12-26-2011 11:14 by
SuthernFukr
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And thus begins the 11-month unemployment season for handbell choirs.
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12-26-2011 11:10 by
SuthernFukr
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Call me old-fashioned but I think the best part about Christmas is having your fist inside a 28-pound flightless bird.
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12-26-2011 11:08 by
SuthernFukr
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I don't t take my Christmas Tree down...I smoke it.
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12-26-2011 11:01 by
Mick The Quick
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I was pulled over by a woman cop this morning. Never knew kitchens had speed limits.
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12-26-2011 08:18
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Anybody else have a turkey hangover?
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12-26-2011 08:16
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I'm not saying you're easy, but when I look up something to do in your town it gives me your address.
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12-26-2011 08:00 by
hihuggiehi
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There's nothing more awkward then asking "who is this" when getting a heartfelt holiday text.
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12-26-2011 07:58 by
hihuggiehi
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I wish there was an observation deck at WalMart.
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12-26-2011 07:57 by
hihuggiehi
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Whenever there's an awkward silence, try whispering, "Did you forget your line?"
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12-26-2011 07:57 by
hihuggiehi
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I don't know if getting everything I want would make me happy, but the opposite is not working at all.
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12-26-2011 07:56 by
hihuggiehi
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You can wake up someone who is asleep but you can't wake up someone who is pretending to be asleep
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12-26-2011 07:25 by
Pasha Vaseghi
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Dear Ticker...seriously I dont wanna know each click of my friends ........what's this!!!
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12-26-2011 06:44
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running around the house with a wrapping paper tube saying “Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”
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12-26-2011 04:04 by
@gnarleycharley
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when you get gifts, people say "its the thought that counts"...my cousin got me deodorant...does she think I smell bad?
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12-26-2011 00:17 by
Eddy
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364 shopping days left
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12-26-2011 00:13 by
Eddy
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