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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Today I changed my name in my dads phone to God and when he swore I texted him saying "I HEARD THAT!" The look on his face; priceless.
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01-12-2012 21:44 by
g0re
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I don't care if you think I'm crazy. Life is too short to be normal!
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01-12-2012 21:43 by
BEGO
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"I wasnt that drunk.." ... "bro you threw my parrot into a wall screaming "ANGRY BIRDS! " @___@
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01-12-2012 21:43 by
g0re
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When you know why you like someone, it's a crush. When you have no reason or explanation, it's love.
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01-12-2012 21:18 by
BEGO
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The f***ing thing I f***ing like the most in the f***ing english language is that you can f***ing put the f***ing word "f***ing" every f***ing place you f***ing want.
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01-12-2012 21:15 by
BEGO
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I hate when I plan a conversation in my head and the other person doesn't follow the script.
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01-12-2012 21:13 by
BEGO
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please ignore this status, I am standing in public alone and I don't want to seem like a total loner, so I am making it look like I am textin
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01-12-2012 20:43 by
g0re
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Wanna fix the economy? Find a cure for dumba$$
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01-12-2012 20:43 by
@HatchDadDee
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Just parted the red sea with a big log. Moses would be proud.
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01-12-2012 18:58 by
H
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Beer Run! Its like a marathon but instead of drinking water you have beer and there is actually no running involved.
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01-12-2012 18:51
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I can run with scissors cause I know how to roll.
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01-12-2012 18:37 by
@glmilhon
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Your not old until your toenails look like Frito chips.
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01-12-2012 18:35 by
@glmilhon
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what is up with these sweatpants and UGGS, totally NOT sexy
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01-12-2012 18:34 by
@glmilhon
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I wish pillsbury would think of another way to open biscuits without giving you a heart attack:)
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01-12-2012 17:54 by
D. Wright
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Dear grown folks, Stop going broke trying to look rich and act your WAGE:)
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01-12-2012 17:39 by
D. Wright
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A bald Barbie? It's about time the drapes matched the carpet!
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01-12-2012 17:20
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I grew up with six sisters. That's how I learned to dance - waiting to get into the bathroom.
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01-12-2012 17:05 by
Mike Hunt
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There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't
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01-12-2012 16:59 by
Mike Hunt
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I'm just waiting for Tim Tebow to get caught with a hooker and an 8 ball. You KNOW it's going to happen.
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01-12-2012 16:20 by
DonDeeX
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I can't believe that it's the year 2012, and I still have to bend down to pick stuff up.
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01-12-2012 16:13 by
StatusPirate
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