g0re Funny Status Messages

   Funny text messages to send! 1. Those innocent eyes, those kissable lips, that beautiful smile, that sexy voice.. anyway enough bout me, how are you;)?

   If an old man stuffs you in a bag don't worry, I asked for you for Christmas. Oh he threw you in a van, not a sleigh? Yeah, you're screwed.

   You were so beautiful, until your 30 day trial of Photoshop ended.

   Saying "dude." before you say something important.

   Whats the difference between you and a hippo? One is fat, lazy, ugly, disgusting, smelly, and weird .......then there's the hippo

   1 universe, 8 planets, 204 countries, 804 islands, 7 seas, 7 billion people, and you're still single? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAGAHA, me too.

   A touching letter by a little girl to Santa on Christmas: Dear Santa, Please give clothes to all those poor ladies in daddy's laptop.

   Need a distraction today? Not only does 11+2=12+1, but also when you rearrange the letters in "eleven plus two," you get "twelve plus one." How many letters in each phrase? Thirteen.

   Cheating on a good girl is like throwing away a daimond and picking up a rock.

   I dig, you dig, we dig, he dig, she dig, they dig. Its not a beautiful poem, but its very deep.

   If Mac users care more about the environment than Windows users... Why do Macs have a trash can, and Windows have a recycling bin ?

   Just saw a baby that was wearing a shirt that said, "not everything stays in Vegas"

   I think we need to be more concerned about dinosaur ghosts.

   Guy: Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears? Girl: No Guy: (pulls pockets inside out) would you like to?

   My doctor told me not to lift anything heavy... So now I sit down to pee.

   Next time I see a dead deer on the side of the road I'm going to leave and come back dressed as Santa Clause with a sign that says, "Help, need ride."

   Me: Wow everything seems right for once. Life: Hold on let me f*ck it up.

   Exit Facebook, close laptop, get into bed, unlock phone, check Facebook ....

   When you can't find the remote, all trust is gone. Me: "Have you seen the remote?" Sis: "No??" Me: "Stand the f*ck up!!"

   Saw a baby shirt that said, "Sh!t my pants, took a nap and sucked on some titties...how was your day?"