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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Walking around with a clipboard and suit on..Makes me feel very important...Even tho I'm not doing anything besides just walking around.
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01-18-2012 11:26 by
@Seanathon77
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Uh oh. Wikipedia is going black that means it's never coming back.
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01-18-2012 11:16 by
SuthernFukr
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SOPA: Stop Oversighting Public Activity!
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01-18-2012 11:14
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If someone says they "rescued" a dog, immediately kidnap it so they can perform another heroic rescue, since they're into that.
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01-18-2012 11:14 by
SuthernFukr
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A lady working at our bank walks with the cutest limp ever. I often fantasize about her naked, walking in a big counter clockwise circle.
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01-18-2012 11:13 by
SuthernFukr
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Facebook is STILL insisting that I might know Fred Savage. What- do they think I'm a goddamn superhero or something?!
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01-18-2012 11:12 by
SuthernFukr
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Limbo, Gluttony, Greed, Anger, Heresy, Violence, Fraud, Treachery - The eight circles of hell when visiting a Walmart. Lust is at Best Buy.
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01-18-2012 11:11 by
SuthernFukr
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Wait, it's "let it go"? I thought it was, "If you love something, drop it off a building." Boy, have I been doing that wrong.
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01-18-2012 11:10 by
SuthernFukr
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I feel better now that I have my Facebook friends ranked in descending order of who I'd eat in the event of a food shortage.
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01-18-2012 11:07 by
SuthernFukr
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I can't grow sideburns but hope to one day have ear-hair that's long enough for a combover.
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01-18-2012 11:06 by
SuthernFukr
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I'm not just great in bed. I'm great other places, too.
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01-18-2012 11:05 by
SuthernFukr
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"Vagisil Wash" is regular soap marketed to really really insecure women.
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01-18-2012 11:04 by
SuthernFukr
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When the fake-thunder sound effect goes off in the produce section, I know it's time to urinate on the lettuce.
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01-18-2012 11:02 by
SuthernFukr
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It's difficult for me to knock Scientology because most of the lies I've told for money were far more insane.
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01-18-2012 11:00 by
SuthernFukr
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I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.
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01-18-2012 10:58 by
SuthernFukr
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Many of the problems in Rick James's life could have been avoided if he could have taken Superfreak home to mother.
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01-18-2012 10:52 by
flinnie
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The Bermuda Triangle has been quiet lately. Too quiet.
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01-18-2012 10:39 by
flinnie
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You can call me many things but never, ever call me a 'scofflaw'. It's a stupid word.
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01-18-2012 10:39 by
flinnie
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My advice is to make money the old fashioned way (by intercepting Spanish galleons transporting gold from the New World).
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01-18-2012 10:36 by
flinnie
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Ordered a plunger and a snare drum on Amazon so next time you order one and it recommends the other, thank me
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01-18-2012 10:32 by
flinnie
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