Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   No matter what age a man is, there is something about cleavage that is just hypnotic.

   I bet crocodiles are pissed off that "crocs" no longer stands for "gigantic vicious reptiles," but now means "gay shoe."

   iPhone > Android > Nokia > Land phone > Typewriter > 2 cans and a string > Message in a bottle > Pigeon with a note tap > Blackberry

   Women are cool until they start loving you. That's when all the drama starts.

   Everybody talks about my drinking but nobody talks about my thirst!

   CLEAN YOUR!̸̶͚͖͖̩̻̩̗͍̮̙̈͊͛̈͒̍̐ͣͩ̋ͨ̓̊̌̈̊́̚͝͠ͅ ̷̧̢̛͖̤̟̺̫̗͚̗͖ͪ̏̔̔̒́ͥ̓ͫ̀ͤ̇ͥ͝ ̡̊͛̇ ͫ̉ͦ̊̀̔ͧͮ͆̽ͦͩ͋̌͗̚̚҉̵͖̟ SCREEN :P

   My mind likes to mess with me just before sleeping. Last night I wondered what if dolls contained lost souls. Sitting there, watching, waiting, thinking....Dolls

   (╮°-°)╮┳━┳ " make me a Sandwich!" .. Girlfriend : ( -.-) "HELL NO!" ... (╯°□°)╯ ┻━┻ "THE HELL YOU SAY?!?"

   You have the right to remain stupid anything you say or do can and will be ignored.

   I'm tired of chasing my dreams...gonna jus ask them where they're going and meet them there later.

   Aahhh, 2012 is here. This year, I will try to look on the bright side of things, to see the positive in all situations, to see my RED SOLO CUP half full :)

   Beer before liquor, never sicker. Toothpaste before orange juice, dead.

   I'm trying to go back to my original shape. 7 lbs. 9oz..

   NICE GILL MORGAN... WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT.

   Tonight I have a date with my Ego.

   Welcome 2012 !! We hope that you do to us what 2011 did to Mobile Phones - Made them Thinner and Smarter !!

   If you like your own status, you should take your own hand and punch you in your face.

   The way I see it is that life is divided up into three stages, and you only have to wipe your @$$ for one of them. Isn't life incredible!?

   Can't wait 'til I'm elderly so I can wear band-aids on my face without shame or explanation.

   Everything seems louder when you're trying not to wake your parents