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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Drank so much over the weekend that I'm giving a new meaning to "Shooting Craps."
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01-02-2012 23:12 by
Johnny
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Charles Barkley's head looks like an Angry Bird.
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01-02-2012 23:08 by
fadolo
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predicting to go another year without love... as long as I have apple juice I'm good though.
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01-02-2012 23:08
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Nothing like falling in love with a sociopath to make you question your judgement.
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01-02-2012 23:07 by
Doc Noland
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this is just a temporary status...until I think of something better
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01-02-2012 22:12 by
mtravica
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WINTER DRIVING TIP: Wait until your vechicle has slipped off the road instead of Texting while driving.
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01-02-2012 21:07
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Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what's your plan?
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01-02-2012 20:38 by
@OMFG_Rel8able
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Anyone know how to get blood stains out of carpet? Totally unrelated, but I also am looking for a new girlfriend.
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01-02-2012 19:26
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Angry birds are nothing compared to angry beavers. Those teeth hurt!
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01-02-2012 18:02
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I love finding money in my clothes…..its like a gift from me.. to me.
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01-02-2012 17:18 by
BEGO
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Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
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01-02-2012 17:03 by
Aaron
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A relationship should be between (^__^) & (^__^) NOT (^__^) & (^__^) + (-_(-_(-_-)_-)_-) + FACEBOOK
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01-02-2012 16:46 by
BEGO
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not been to his Farmville in so long I just found out it was paved and turned into a parking lot...
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01-02-2012 14:32
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The Korean version of "Marley and Me" was probably a lot shorter...
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01-02-2012 13:58
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I choose butter over margarine because I trust cows more than I trust chemists.
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01-02-2012 13:33
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One good thing about Alzheimer's is you meet new people every day.
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01-02-2012 13:31
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Dear recent college graduates, We like to play hard-to-get. Sincerely, jobs.
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01-02-2012 13:28
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Once, in 1998, I read a website's terms and conditions page.
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01-02-2012 13:27
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I hope Keith Richards isn't an organ donor.
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01-02-2012 13:23
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Unlike 'the others', I have 27 cats for normal reasons.
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01-02-2012 13:18
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