Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Edison stole the idea for the lightbulb from the lightbulb that appeared above his head when he got the idea for the phonograph.
←Rate | 01-23-2012 15:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bieber fever begins with a rash on your gentials that quickly spreads to the brain.
←Rate | 01-23-2012 15:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I took a taste from the bag of white powder I found in my son's backpack and my worst fears were realized. Gymnastic chalk.
←Rate | 01-23-2012 15:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If someone from New Jersey bites you, are you from New Jersey?
←Rate | 01-23-2012 15:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Gotta hand it to midgets sometimes. You know, cause they can't reach and all.
←Rate | 01-23-2012 15:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Think about how much women could accomplish if they didn't spend half the day taking pictures of themselves in bathroom mirrors.
←Rate | 01-23-2012 15:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Parents, you can help end childhood obesity by teaching your kids how to smoke cigarettes.
←Rate | 01-23-2012 15:32 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When sh!t hits the fan, you have to make the decision to stop chilling with people who throw their own feces at ceiling fans. Seriously guys
←Rate | 01-23-2012 15:29 by @HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tracy Morgan collapsed at Sundance and is blaming the altitude. I agree. He was way too high.
←Rate | 01-23-2012 15:28 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just choked down three bites of a gas station hot dog and now I have 7 kinds of ass cancer.
←Rate | 01-23-2012 15:26 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon First words I said upon waking up today were " DAVID DOESN'T CARE !!!!! " See I was woken up once again by the smut upstairs arguing and scremaing over the phone with her boyfriend David
←Rate | 01-23-2012 14:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon So Valentine's Day is about 3 wks away....While everyone else gets flowers and candy...I'll be like Charlie Brown during Halloween...."All I got is a rock"
←Rate | 01-23-2012 14:06 by Ms.Bren Comments (0)  


   messageicon I enjoy long hugs and slow kisses.
←Rate | 01-23-2012 13:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Shoutout to blondes who put on lip gloss before they brush their teeth.
←Rate | 01-23-2012 13:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If your breath isn't flammable, you're not an alcoholic.
←Rate | 01-23-2012 13:19 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't care about Heidi Klum and seal divorcing. Now if there is a news report of the Kardishians being hit by a piece of that Russian satellite it would be a good news day.
←Rate | 01-23-2012 12:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love to run my finger up the outline of a womans camel toe.
←Rate | 01-23-2012 12:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Not caring about having a great body..caz lets face it food is better !
←Rate | 01-23-2012 12:16 by @OMFG_Rel8able Comments (0)  


   messageicon Home is where I can look ugly and enjoy it!!
←Rate | 01-23-2012 12:12 by @OMFG_Rel8able Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know you are a Facebook Drama Queen when you post pics of yourself crying.
←Rate | 01-23-2012 12:01 Comments (0)  



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