Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Yawning is the body's way of saying '10% Battery Remaining'.
←Rate | 01-22-2012 09:42 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I started an Alcohol Free Diet today. So if its Free, I drink it.
←Rate | 01-22-2012 09:42 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon People with a Bluetooth look like they're communicating with Douchebag Mission Control.
←Rate | 01-22-2012 09:40 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon doesn't care what the #1 song was the day he was born.
←Rate | 01-22-2012 08:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon i still know what you did last summer........... cos you posted it on facebook!
←Rate | 01-22-2012 07:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I must be a lesbian trapped in a man's body... 'coz when I see an "all you can eat" sign, my mouth gets so wet...
←Rate | 01-22-2012 04:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Boy: "Can I buy you a drink?"..................... Girl: "Alcohol is bad for my legs"........... Boy: "Why? Do they Swell?".....Girl: "No, they spread."
←Rate | 01-22-2012 00:47 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fact: No woman has ever shot a man while he is doing the dishes!
←Rate | 01-22-2012 00:42 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Now that I have hit 40, I need to be careful about what I eat and drink and make sure I am getting my nutrients. That is why I just added pulp-free Orange Juice to my Vodka. I wonder if Metamucil will mix with Bourbon? Hmmmmm.....
←Rate | 01-22-2012 00:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon rihannas forehead would be perfect for imax movies
←Rate | 01-21-2012 22:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love "me" so much, my Dr gave me a nice jacket that helps me hug myself!
←Rate | 01-21-2012 22:46 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you could see what goes on inside my head, you would have nightmares for weeks!
←Rate | 01-21-2012 22:43 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon when I know I have terrible gas, I sometimes wear a gas mask in the shower because 'shower farts' are by far the deadliest
←Rate | 01-21-2012 22:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon if I were sitting in a jail cell right now, why would you think I was there? ;)
←Rate | 01-21-2012 22:39 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon I would just like to personal thank all the people in my life that have caused me so many problems, for making me the as$ I am today!
←Rate | 01-21-2012 22:03 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do we spend so much time looking for intelligent life on other planets? I'd be happy to find intelligent life here in Government first.
←Rate | 01-21-2012 21:10 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hope I never get renal failure. I've really come to enjoy having a functioning renus.
←Rate | 01-21-2012 21:03 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck it's a drunk white woman having her picture taken in the club.
←Rate | 01-21-2012 20:22 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon "You look happy. Let me see what I can do about that" Sincerely your Ex
←Rate | 01-21-2012 19:44 by Naz Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sending my regards to Seal. Hopefully, this won't scar him for life.
←Rate | 01-21-2012 19:09 by The Fred Comments (0)  



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