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I bought a cheese grater for my blind uncle. He said it was the most violent thing he ever read.
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02-09-2012 09:57 by
Nobody
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Parallel lines have got so much in common. It's a shame they'll never meet.
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02-09-2012 09:56 by
Czovczov
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Think I'm about to have a boregasm.
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02-09-2012 09:56 by
CindyAnn
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"Hello, would you like to take part in a one-question survey?" "Sure." "Great! Thanks for participating."
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02-09-2012 09:55 by
Kisstopher
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I became the employee of the month at Pizza Hut just by flirting. So... You like breadsticks?
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02-09-2012 09:55
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I fart, because it's the only gas I can afford.
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02-09-2012 09:15 by
CindyAnn
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My tip for you working professional's out there- If you job requires you to use a computer, Maybe you should learn the basic functions of a computer- for instance- TURNING THE F&CKING THING ON
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02-09-2012 09:06 by
@torrent329
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Valentine Day Cancelled!!! ...Mathematical Proof - 14-02-12 = 0
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02-09-2012 09:03
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Valentine's day: Dinner for two: $80. Movie: $60. Flowers: $85. Gold Necklace: $250. Hotel room: $150 OR a Prostitute: $100! You decide.
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02-09-2012 08:17
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If I share my food with you, its either because I love you a lot, or because it fell on the floor and I don't want it.
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02-09-2012 08:12 by
CindyAnn
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Before I post a joke on twitter I tell it to my windmill... He is a HUGE fan.
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02-09-2012 08:12 by
Kisstopher
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Not liking someone does not make you a hater. Speaking about it all the time, even when nobody asks you, makes you a hater.
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02-09-2012 08:11
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What is more annoying than Valentine's Day? The people that won't shut the hell up about how much they hate Valentine's Day.”
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02-09-2012 08:08
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To make a long story short...I walk away.
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02-09-2012 08:05 by
CindyAnn
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If you are my girlfriend and you are too broke to buy me anything special for Valentine's, a cooked meal and you for desert will suffice.
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02-09-2012 08:04
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Do you answer the call or do you revel in the power when someone calls out begging for toilet paper
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02-09-2012 07:39 by
NB
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My "I hate you" face must look very similar to my "tell me more" face. I'll have to work on that.
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02-09-2012 07:13 by
CindyAnn
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Wife math: "it was like 100 bucks" = it was at least $250.00.
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02-09-2012 06:05 by
CindyAnn
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Girls who are on the same menstrual cycle as their friends should basically be referred to as gang members. That's how dangerous they are.
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02-09-2012 05:56 by
CindyAnn
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Secret to using the best approach when attempting to engage in conversation with me ... don't.
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02-09-2012 05:29 by
CindyAnn
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